Revision 1
1) Elvis Presley is born on January 8 1935, in Tupelo Mississippi. (2) Elvis moved to Memphis, Tennessee when he was just thirteen years old. (3) There, he created a love of singing and playing guitar. (4) He is best known as the king of rock and roll because of his charming personality and good looks. (5) On November 20 1955, Elvis singed his first record deal with RCA records. (6) Some of his more popular songs include, “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” “Jailhouse Rock,” and “Blue Suede Shoes.” (7) He began acting in 1956 and stared in 31 different roles. (8) He really enjoyed singing in the movies he made. (9) Elvis died from cardiac arrest on August 16, 1977.
2. What is the most effective way to revise sentence 5?
a. On November 20, 1955 Elvis singed his first record deal with RCA records.
b. On November 20, 1955, Elvis signed his first record deal with RCA records.
c. On November 20 1955, Elvis signed his first record deal with RCA records.
b. On November 20, 1955, Elvis signed his first record deal with RCA records.
(1) The south Dakota wind caves are the first caves to be classified as a National Park. (2) And, on January 3, 1903, president Roosevelt named these caves the sixth national park. (3) These caves were officially discovered in 1881. (4) There were many legends that spoke of these caves before they were officially founded. (5) The cave is recognized as the densest cave system and the seventh longest cave in the world. (6) Wind Cave National Park also protects a diverse ecosystem of both plants and animals.
Which is the best sentence to add after sentence 6 to provide details?
a. The Wind Cave bison herd is one of only four free-roaming herds on public lands in North America.
(10) Dogs have 1,700 taste buds, but cats have only 470. (11) Humans, with 9,000 taste buds, have a stronger sense of taste than either animal, but both cats and dogs have a keener sense of smell. (12) The sense of smell in a service dog’s nose is important in many rescue operations. (13) About 75 percent of the sense of taste comes from the sense of smell. (14) So manufacturers develop pet food that primarily has an attractive smell but also appeals to an animal’s sense of taste.
Rodrigo has included a sentence that does not belong in the third paragraph (sentences
10–14). Which sentence should he remove from this paragraph?
A Sentence 10
B Sentence 11
C Sentence 12
D Sentence 13
C Sentence 12
What is the BEST way to combine sentences 24 and 25? My friends and I didn’t win. We’re going to try again soon!
Because my friends and I didn’t win, we’re going to try again soon!
(1) Elvis Presley is born on January 8 1935, in Tupelo Mississippi. (2) Elvis moved to Memphis, Tennessee when he was just thirteen years old. (3) There, he created a love of singing and playing guitar. (4) He is best known as the king of rock and roll because of his charming personality and good looks. (5) On November 20 1955, Elvis singed his first record deal with RCA records. (6) Some of his more popular songs include, “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” “Jailhouse Rock,” and “Blue Suede Shoes.” (7) He began acting in 1956 and stared in 31 different roles. (8) He really enjoyed singing in the movies he made. (9) Elvis died from cardiac arrest on August 16, 1977.
1. The word created is not the most appropriate word to use in sentence 3. Select the word that should replace created.
a. enjoyed
b. liked
c. developed
d. made
c. developed
What sentence does not belong in this report? Living Life Boats ? Most people know ants are really good at building on land, but did you know that some ants are good at building on water, too? Fire ants can join together and make rafts with their bodies. These “ant rafts” can float on water for weeks at a time! Many fire ants live in the amazon rainforest where it rains very hard. ??? Whole colonies, or ant communities, are flooded out of their homes on the forest floor. A single ant is not a good swimmer it can barely stay afloat in water. ??? But the ants know that they can make a giant, floating raft by holding on to each other with their mandibles, or mouths, as well as the claws on their legs. ? Humans can also make rafts out of different kinds of materials. The ants make sure the queen ant and her eggs rest safely at the center of the pancake-like raft. ???? The ants hold on tightly and let the water carry them. A single raft might contain tens of thousands of ants. Scientists have been studying how these ants are able to stay afloat. When the ants come together, their bodies form air pockets that not only let the ants breath but keep the whole structure above water. Not even the ants on the bottom drown. ???? While the ant raft is a great example of the neat way nature works, scientists also want to see what humans can learn from the ants. Scientists think that they can learn how to make best waterproof products for humans by studying the ants in water. ?????????????????????? ???
What is 1. Many fire ants live in the amazon rainforest where it rains very hard. ?or Humans can also make rafts out of different kinds of materials. or 2. Scientists have been studying how these ants are able to stay afloat. or 3. While the ant raft is a great example of the neat way nature works, scientists also want to see what humans can learn from the ants.
(1) A frisbee is what most people call a flying disc, but it is actually a registered trademark of the Wham-O toy company. (2) In 1937, Fred Morrison and his future wife Lucille, invented the game by tossing a popcorn can lid back and forth to each other. (3) Soon they discovered a market for this new game. (4) They sold cake pans 25 cents. (5) The Morrisons knew they had a product that needed to be sold, so they made a sales pitch and sold it to Wham-O. (6) Today frisbee sales more products than baseballs and footballs combined.
Select the response that corrects the error in sentence 2.
a. Add a comma after wife
b. Change invented to invents
c. Delete a comma after Lucille
d. No change necessary
a. Add a comma after wife
(1) Gold! (2) While James Wilson Marshall was building a sawmill in Coloma California, he accidentally found a golden nugget. (2) Even though he tried to keep this news a secret it spread to over 300,000 people. (3) These gold-seekers were called forty-niners because 1849 was a peak year for the gold rush immigration. (4) Gold worth tens of billions of today's US dollars was recovered. (5) However, this meant great wealth for very few people. (6) Many who participated in the California Gold Rush earned a little more than they had started with. (7) This led to California becoming the 31st state. What is the plural for knife?
3. Which is the best sentence to add after sentence 6 to provide details?
a. California’s population increase made headlines to become the next state.
b. Because of the influx of people, this led to California becoming the 31st state.
c. California petitioned to the United States to become a state.
b. Because of the influx of people, this led to California becoming the 31st state.
What change should be made if any? Then, its jawes crashed together and blocked my shot. ?
Change its to it’s
Change jawes to jaws
Change shot to shoot
(1) Elvis Presley is born on January 8 1935, in Tupelo Mississippi. (2) Elvis moved to Memphis, Tennessee when he was just thirteen years old. (3) There, he created a love of singing and playing guitar. (4) He is best known as the king of rock and roll because of his charming personality and good looks. (5) On November 20 1955, Elvis singed his first record deal with RCA records. (6) Some of his more popular songs include, “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” “Jailhouse Rock,” and “Blue Suede Shoes.” (7) He began acting in 1956 and stared in 31 different roles. (8) He really enjoyed singing in the movies he made. (9) Elvis died from cardiac arrest on August 16, 1977.
3. Which sentence can be removed from the paragraph?
a. Sentence 4
b. Sentence 5
c. Sentence 7
d. Sentence 8
d. Sentence 8
3 (1) The south Dakota wind caves are the first caves to be classified as a National Park. (2) And, on January 3, 1903, president Roosevelt named these caves the sixth national park. (3) These caves were officially discovered in 1881. (4) There were many legends that spoke of these caves before they were officially founded. (5) The cave is recognized as the densest cave system and the seventh longest cave in the world. (6) Wind Cave National Park also protects a diverse ecosystem of both plants and animals.
3. Which is the best sentence to add after sentence 6 to provide details?
a. The Wind Cave bison herd is one of only four free-roaming herds on public lands in North America.
b. Many different types of bison herds live near the caves.
c. The Wind Cave is home to a bison herd that is only found in South Dakota.
a. The Wind Cave bison herd is one of only four free-roaming herds on public lands in North America.
(8) The original 13 states adopted the Articles of Confederation in 1781. (9) The young nation soon learned that the articles were greatly awry. (10) Within a little more than a decade, they were replaced by the Constitution we know today. (11) So how did all this happen?
35. Adeline wants to replace the word awry in sentence 9 with a more appropriate word. Which word should replace awry in this sentence?
A. bungled
B. awed
C. muddled
D. snarled
B. awed
(20) Another factor that hindered the young Congress was that before it could take any action, that action had to be approved by 9 of the 13 states. (21) A proposed change to the articlesóan amendmentóhad to be agreed upon by all 13 states. (22) Since there were many rivalries between the states and disagreements too, the Articles of Confederation because of this rule were almost impossible to change. (23) In fact, it took four long years for all the states to even approve the document.
What is the best way to revise sentence 22?
A. Since there were many rivalries and disagreements between the states, this rule meant that the Articles of Confederation were almost impossible to change.
B. There were many rivalries and disagreements, so this rule meant that the Articles of Confederation were almost impossible to change between the states.
C. Since there were many rivalries and disagreeing between the states, this rule meant that the Articles of Confederation were almost impossible to change.
D. There were many rivalries and disagreements between the states, which meant that this rule and the Articles of Confederation were almost impossible to change between the states.
A. Since there were many rivalries and disagreements between the states, this rule meant that the Articles of Confederation were almost impossible to change.
(1) Elvis Presley is born on January 8 1935, in Tupelo Mississippi. (2) Elvis moved to Memphis, Tennessee when he was just thirteen years old. (3) There, he created a love of singing and playing guitar. (4) He is best known as the king of rock and roll because of his charming personality and good looks. (5) On November 20 1955, Elvis singed his first record deal with RCA records. (6) Some of his more popular songs include, “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” “Jailhouse Rock,” and “Blue Suede Shoes.” (7) He began acting in 1956 and stared in 31 different roles. (8) He really enjoyed singing in the movies he made. (9) Elvis died from cardiac arrest on August 16, 1977.
4. Sentence 1 needs to be revised. Rewrite sentence 1 in a clear and effective way.
Elvis Presley was born on January 8, 1935, in Tupelo, Mississippi.
(1) A frisbee is what most people call a flying disc, but it is actually a registered trademark of the Wham-O toy company. (2) In 1937, Fred Morrison and his future wife Lucille, invented the game by tossing a popcorn can lid back and forth to each other. (3) Soon they discovered a market for this new game. (4) They sold cake pans 25 cents. (5) The Morrisons knew they had a product that needed to be sold, so they made a sales pitch and sold it to Wham-O. (6) Today frisbee sales more products than baseballs and footballs combined.
There is an error in sentence 6. Select the response that corrects the error. a. Today, Frisbee sells more products than baseballs and footballs combined. b. Today Frisbee sales more products than baseballs and footballs combined. c. Today Frisbee sells more products than baseballs and footballs combined.
a. Today, Frisbee sells more products than baseballs and footballs combined.
(6) Scientists who research and develop pet food pay close attention to the nutritional needs of animals. (7) In addition, they develop products to appeal to animals’ different tastes. (8) Researchers know that dogs, for example, can taste sweet, sour, salty, and bitter. (9) Dogs also, on the tips of their tongues to recognize the taste of water, have special taste buds. (10) Dogs have 1,700 taste buds, but cats have only 470.
What is the BEST way to revise sentence 9?
A Dogs also have special taste buds on the tips of their tongues to recognize the taste of water.
B Dogs also place special taste buds on the tips of their tongues to recognize the taste of
water.
C Dogs also, to recognize the taste of water, have special taste buds placed on the tips of their tongues.
D Dogs also, recognizing the taste of water on the tips of their tongues, use the special taste buds placed there.
D Dogs also, recognizing the taste of water on the tips of their tongues, use the special taste buds placed there.
(1) In a small town in England, 250 scientists work with over 1,000 animals to develop new food products for pets. (2) Their research and manufacturing facility is owned by Mars, Incorporated, a company that makes some of the most popular chocolate candies in the world. (3) But Mars actually invests more money in pet food development than in producing chocolate treats. (4) The company’s profits from the sales of pet food are also significantly
higher than those from chocolate. (5) Animals have become more important customers than humans. (6) Scientists who research and develop pet food pay close attention to the nutritional needs of animals.
Which sentence should replace sentence 5 to create a more effective introduction for this paper?
A. Interestingly, animals have replaced humans as customers for Mars products.
B In addition, chocolate sales seem to be seasonal, while pets eat meals every day.
C Statistics show that people spend more money on pet care than on self-care.
D Mars researchers work hard to ensure that the pet food meets the needs of the many animals that eat it.
D Mars researchers work hard to ensure that the pet food meets the needs of the many animals that eat it.
(1) Before computers and keyboards, there were typewriters. (2) A typewriter was a machine that prints letters on a page when the key is pressed. (3) A patent for the typewriter was granted in January 1714, but their was not a physical product until much, much later. (4) In 1808 (5) a blind countess named Carolina Fantoni da Fivizzano was gifted a typewriter from Pellegrino Turri. (6) Turri also invented carbon paper for the typewriter. (7) Today, people do not typically use a typewriter, but they do use computer keyboards to type.
Combine sentences 4 and 5. Write the new sentence in a clear and effective way.
In 1808, a blind countess named Carolina Fantoni da Fivizzano was gifted a typewriter from Pellegrino Turri.
(1) The south Dakota wind caves are the first caves to be classified as a National Park. (2) And, on January 3, 1903, president Roosevelt named these caves the sixth national park. (3) These caves were officially discovered in 1881. (4) There were many legends that spoke of these caves before they were officially founded. (5) The cave is recognized as the densest cave system and the seventh longest cave in the world. (6) Wind Cave National Park also protects a diverse ecosystem of both plants and animals.
Sentence 1 needs to be revised. Rewrite sentence 1 in a clear and effective way.
The South Dakota Wind Caves are the first caves to be classified as a national park.
5 (1) Gold! (2) While James Wilson Marshall was building a sawmill in Coloma California, he accidentally found a golden nugget. (2) Even though he tried to keep this news a secret it spread to over 300,000 people. (3) These gold-seekers were called forty-niners because 1849 was a peak year for the gold rush immigration. (4) Gold worth tens of billions of today's US dollars was recovered. (5) However, this meant great wealth for very few people. (6) Many who participated in the California Gold Rush earned a little more than they had started with. (7) This led to California becoming the 31st state.
4. Combine sentences 5 and 6. Write the new sentence in a clear and effective way
However, this meant great wealth for very few people because many who participated in the California Gold Rush earned a little more than they had started with.