What Does It Mean?
Public
When you are around other people that may be strangers and acquaintances. Any time you are outside of your home you are thought to be in public.
Politics
Unsafe - there is a lot of arguing between different political parties. War is often the result of political differences.
That's private
Safe - this is a short, calm response that implies an /I/ statement (That's private to me).
Who are you going to vote for?
That's personal
That's private
I don't want to talk about this
Let's change the topic
An acquaintance is crying about an argument with a boy/girl friend
Do not say anything. An acquaintance is someone you know because you see each other in a common place (school, work, team, club, church, etc) but you are not friends. Dating life is a private topic. This person's identified safe people can help.
Private
When you are alone or with safe, trusted people, you are in private. Private topics are events or things that we have seen people fight, argue or cry about. They are topics with extreme opinions and should be discussed at home or only with safe, trusted people.
Pets
Safe - people tend to feel very happy when talking about their pets.
I don't want to talk about this
Safe - this is a short, calm response that includes an /I/ statement
How much money do you have?
That's private
That's personal
I don't want to talk about money
Let's talk about something else
You want to know how much money your co-worker is getting paid
Do not ask. It is ok to have a curious mind and wonder about lots of things. This is one of those questions we need to keep in our mind. It is not our business how much money our co-workers are paid.
Safe Topic
This is a topic that is safe to discuss in public and small talk with anyone.
Dating life
Unsafe - you can discuss dating with close friends and family. This should not be discussed at work or during class time.
Don't ask me that
Unsafe - this responses uses a /you/ statement (You don't ask me that) and may result in continued conversation and bigger feelings.
Do you take medication?
That's private
I don't want to talk about that
Let's talk about something else
I feel uncomfortable
There is a big news story about the military happening while you are at work.
Do not talk about it. It's ok to have a curious mind and wonder about what is happening. This is a topic that could make others feel scared, anxious and uncomfortable. Wait until you are home to get caught up on the details of what has happened.
Unsafe Topic
This is a topic that is private and is not safe to talk about in public. Only discuss this at home or with safe, trusted people.
Money
Unsafe - it is not safe to share financial information with anyone except for trusted family and friends who help you with finances. This is a private topic.
Let's change the topic
Safe - this includes an implied /we/ statement that includes the person speaking (therefore we can consider it an /I/ statement as well). This response feels like I want to keep talking to you but not about this topic.
People like that are always lazy.
I don't want to talk about this
Let's talk about something else
I feel uncomfortable
A customer looks like she is pregnant. Should you say congratulations?
No. Even if you are a good friend with someone and you have this wonder, do not ask. This is a very private and sensitive topic. If someone is pregnant and wants you to know, they will tell you when they are ready.
Safe Response
A safe response includes a short response, staying calm and using /I/ statements such as /I don't want to talk about that/, /I feel uncomfortable/, /I want to talk about something else/, etc.
Sports
Safe - there are many sports happening all around us in our schools (PE and teams), communities and on TV (professional sports, olympics).
You are bothering me
Unsafe - this response uses a /you/ statement. This response does not sound calm and may start an argument.
A woman can not be a plumber.
I don't want to talk about this.
Let's talk about something else.
I feel uncomfortable.
A stranger fell off their bike and they are hurt.
Get help. If someone is bleeding or unconscious, even a stranger, it is considered an emergency. If this person has someone with them, you can ask if they need your help. If the person is alone and can talk, ask if they want your help. If the person cannot talk, call 911.