Badly Explained Book Plots
A pirate is obsessed with killing a little kid who can fly.
Peter Pan
After kids tell me where it hurts, I push on the parts that hurt while asking if it hurts.
Pediatrician (doctor)
A guy learns to love a girl without her Instagram filters.
Shrek
You become a life or death taskmaster
Among Us
three guys die from eating bad hotdogs
Julie and the Phantoms
Awkward teenage girl thinks boys are just whatever but wants to give her soul to a sparkly 108-year-old man.
Twilight
I tell people all day to turn things off then back on again.
Tech Support
Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge unsuccessfully.
Titanic
Animal cult conspires to keep local human as the local repairman/construction worker paid with useless 'gifts'.
Animal Crossing
Dad's on a hunting trip and hasn't returned.
Supernatural
indecisive high schooler must decide on a career but if they choose wrong, society completely rejects them.
Divergent
I talk to myself in front of large numbers of young people busy on their phones.
Professor (teacher)
Talking frog convinces son to kill his dad.
Star Wars
A child fights with the help of his animal friends to take strangers' money.
Pokemon
a young boy is forced to watch his mother scream his name while obsessing over Christmas lights
Stranger Things
Bald, creepy guy becomes obsessed with a teenage boy and creates a cult. He dies.
Harry Potter
I insist on silence while honoring the fallen trees
Librarian
When the 'cats always land on their feet' myth was busted
The Lion King
Invest the time and energy into learning an instrument but without developing real skill.
Guitar Hero
Millionaire bribes seven mothers for their newborn babies to "save the world"
The Umbrella Academy
Three ladies chat and have fun while they let a young girl, a young boy, and a little kid travel to an evil planet.
A Wrinkle in Time
I see dead people.
Mortician or Forensic Scientist
Frozen
A race of moronic humanoids requires round-the-clock care. You are their caregiver.
Sims
The smartest person in English literature isn't even the smartest in his family.
Sherlock Holmes (BBC)