Expected vs. Unexpected Behaviors in a Friendship
Why is it important to be social and follow social rules?
To make friends, get to know others, people will think we are being nice (if were not social other kids may think we are being mean or rude) and if we don’t follow these rules it can make others upset or scared.
Why is it important to think about others?
Thinking about others helps us demonstrate expected behaviors in social situations, understand others’ feelings, resolve conflicts and make and maintain friendships.
What do we use the conversation measuring cup for?
to help us know how much we should be talking in a conversation
What does empathy mean?
putting yourself in another person’s shoes and imagining how it would feel to be that person (how you can show that you care)
What does it mean to be flexible?
Being flexible means thinking about more than one solution, thinking about others, being okay if your plans change, keeping an open mind, and trying new things
Name three expected behaviors in a friendship
Expected behaviors in a friendship:
Thinking about what the other person wants to play/ talk about
working with your friend
playing with your friends
Reading social cues and knowing when to stop certain behavior
communicating with your friends, telling them how you feel (being assertive)
taking turns in a conversation
Talk about a topic that you know your friend is interested in
Joining your friend to play
Being flexible
Think about your words and actions before saying them
What are non-verbal language cues?
movements we make with our face/ body when we are interacting with others that let people know how we are feeling or what we are thinking
When should we give a shorter answer in conversation?
If we don’t have a lot of time to talk or someone needs to tell us something, we should give a shorter answer. This would fill the measuring cup only a little.
What is a social filter?
Our Social Filter helps us say words and use actions that make other people feel comfortable and have good thoughts about us.
What does it mean to be rigid?
Being rigid means you are unable to bend and are “stuck.” This happens when you get upset if things do not your way instead of trying to solve the problem, or instead of thinking about other solutions. Being rigid means we do not try to think about others’ thoughts and feelings.
Name three unexpected behaviors in a friendship
Unexpected behaviors:
becoming angry at your friend and hitting them
acting like the class clown and distracting your friends
Only playing what you want to play
Only talk about about your day and your interests
Cutting your friend in line
Always wanting to go first
Being mean to your friend
Being rigid -Only wanting to do things your way
How can we uses non-verbal language cues to show others we are listening to them?
By sitting still, facing the person speaking, and making eye contact, we can show our friends that we are listening b/to them during a conversation.
When should we give a longer answer in a conversation?
If we have a lot of time to talk and you are getting signs that someone wants to talk, we can give a longer answer.
Why is it important to read people's moods?
So we know what to say and how to act around others. If we take the time to read people’s mood we will know what to say and how to act around them. If we don’t read people’s mood we might continue behaviors that make others annoyed or uncomfortable.
What is positive self-talk and how do we use it to be flexible?
Positive, self-talk is talking to ourselves in a kind way that makes us feel good
We can use “I” statements like, “I can do this” or “I can get it next time” to boost our confidence and tolerate small problems
When we use positive self-talk, it helps us feel more confident, builds our self-esteem, and allows us to tackle small problems by reducing our stress or frustration
How do others perceive us when use expected behaviors in a friendship?
These behaviors make others think we are friendly, respectful, helpful and nice.
Why is it is important to think about others when are having a conversation?
If we interrupt others while they are talking, they will get frustrated and walk away
People will only want to talk to you if you stop and listen to what they have to say
Classmates like to be friends with those who take turns having a conversation
How do we know if someone is interested in what we are saying?
We know someone is interested from their facial expressions & body language (i.e., facing the speaker, making eye contact)
Give three examples of thoughts you can say and then thoughts you should keep in your head
Thoughts we should keep in our head:
Insults
Negative comments
Opinions in a disrespectful way
Comments about weight of physical appearance
Prying or really personal questions
Comments about politics, religion, or race (depending on when and who you are talking to)
Curse words or mean words
These are things we can say out loud:
Helpful thoughts
Positive comments
Opinions in a respectful way instead of “that’s stupid” you could say “I don’t really agree because…”
Compliments about physical appearance if they won’t make others uncomfortable like, “that’s a nice haircut”
General questions
Comments
What does it mean to compromise and why is it important to compromise when we are working with a group?
Compromise- to make a deal in which each person gets a little bit of what they want (i.e. a “win-win” situation”)
When we compromise it helps us get along better with others, resolves conflicts & helps us maintain friendships & relationships with others.
How do others perceive us when we use unexpected behaviors in a friendship?
These behaviors make others think we are unfriendly.
responses will vary
What is a topic radar?
use our topic radar to think about different conversation topics and what other people want to talk about
Name the steps to reading someone's mood.
1. Body language
2. Facial expression
3. Tone of voice
4. What is around them in the environment (the place, objects, time, and space)
5. Finally, they put all these clues together to figure out what the person is feeling and why they might feel that way.
Why is it important to listen to others’ ideas when working together?
If we listen to other people we show that we are polite, a good friend, and can learn from other people
If we don’t listen to other people’s ideas, they may feel upset and may not want to consider our ideas - can cause arguments
Other people have good ideas too
If you don’t agree with the other team members, you can respectfully disagree by acknowledging what they said and explaining why you think otherwise in a calm way/ kind tone