Sega Software
"At last! A superstar that blows more out of his nose than he snorts up it!"
What is Ecco the Dolphin?
"We bring the arcade experience home."
"The other guys just don't stack up."
What is the Genesis?
"If you were colorblind and had an IQ less than 12 then you wouldn't care which portable you had."
"If you're still playing with Game Boy, it's time to grow up. [This system] is here."
What is the Game Gear?
"Now you can play Master System games on your Genesis!"
What is the Power Base Converter?
An ad for this competing system stated, "If you still want a Saturn your head is in Uranus."
What is the PlayStation?
"There's never been a game like [this]... that's allowed you to fly fluid and free in real-time 3D... especially not on that other system, simply because with only one processor, it doesn't have the power to do it. Fly, Plaything, fly. You're not ready."
What is Nights into Dreams?
"There are lots of good reasons to go with [this system] over Pretendo. We call them 'games.' [Blank] has tons of them. Pretendo has just a few. It does beg the question: do you wanna play, or twiddle your thumbs? Face it, Pretendo, you aren't worth waiting for."
What is the Saturn?
"The neat thing about having [this system] is that if you really suck, you can go play where no one will find you."
What is the Nomad?
"Something to do with your hands that won't make you go blind... And when you need a breather from that fast and furious hand action you can turn the Game Gear into a [blank] using [this add-on] (it's COMING soon)."
What is the TV Tuner?
("...into a colour TV...")
An ad disguised as an editorial piece criticized this, arguing, "There's no [blank] hardware. There's no [blank] technology. There's no super [blank] boost of any kind... [Blank] isn't worth a hedgehog's hair when it comes to real gaming advantages... Get real. Get Nintendo."
What is "blast processing"?
In one of its "Genesis does what Nintendon't" commercials, Sega referred to this 1990 port as "the first-ever 8-meg game" and highlighted the fact that EGM named it Game of the Year.
What is Strider?
An ad for this system contained a picture of a family with a dog and the text, "Good news, kids. We're trading Rex for a [blank]. Say hello to the new top dog in gaming... The first ever console with [blank] capabilities."
What is the Dreamcast?
("...with on-line capabilities.")
"Want to have a little fun? I know how to have lots of it. As in three times the fun because I'm three players in one... And since I'm so wonderfully compact, we can go almost anywhere."
What is the CDX?
"Mommy, what are those two Sega machines doing?"
"They're making an arcade system, dear."
What is the 32X?
Nintendo referenced one of Sega's slogans in a 1993 commercial that said, "You are witnessing a new technology: the first and only game powered by [this]. Why go to 'the next level' when you can go lightyears beyond?"
What is the Super FX chip?
Sega promoted the 32X port of this first-party series debut title in an ad with the heading, "Domestic Violence," and the tagline, "The No. 1 arcade game now invades the home."
What is Virtua Fighter?
Sega mocked this competing system's launch shortages by sending out postcards and billboard trucks that showed a picture of a boy sticking his tongue out with the caption, "Our deepest condolences to [blank] on their [console] shipping difficulties."
What is the PlayStation 2?
"[This system] plays the world's most popular Sega games, karaoke and music CDs for hours of family fun... and electronic books for school or work reference... Educational. Exciting. [Blank]."
What is the X'Eye?
"Why should the military have all the fun? Now you too can blow people away from across the country. [This add-on] brings full screen, full speed online gaming smack dab into your sweet little home."
What is the NetLink?
"If you're still playing Sega, NEC, or Nintendo, you're nothing but a weenie! If you're playing the incredibly high powered [this] system you're a real hot dog!"
What is the Neo Geo?
"Head-butts, kidney punches, uppercuts, knee-slams, eye-gouges and groin kicks. (Just another typical day at the Sega office.)"
"At 16 megs it's our biggest game... more moves... more characters... It's the next best thing to kicking some real you-know-what."
What is Streets of Rage 2?
"The computer that thinks it's a toy."
"Most kids spend three hours a day glued to the TV. [This system] makes it a smart three hours."
What is the Pico?
"The first system to offer two fully featured computer processors in one!... A custom designed sliding front panel allows easy access between the PC and Mega modes... Brilliant for business and mega for games - the perfect computing solution."
What is the Mega PC?
"You still don't have [this add-on]? What are you waiting for? Nintendo to make one?"
"There is no Nintendo [blank]. Understood?"
What is the Sega CD?
One of Sega's slogans was turned on its head when a billboard next to Sega's European headquarters advertised this 32-bit system (never released in the U.S.) with the tagline, "To be this good will take Sega ages."
What is the Amiga CD32?