Miscommunication

What are they thinking?

100

You ask your friend a question, and they don't answer for several seconds. You think they are ignoring you. They were actually trying to figure out what to say.
→ What might each person be thinking?

• You might think, “They don't want to talk to me.”

• Your friend might be thinking, “I need a minute to think.”

• They may not have heard the question.

• They may be distracted.

• You could ask, “Did you hear me?” instead of assuming they are ignoring you.

200

You are talking to someone, but they don't make much eye contact. You think they aren't listening. They are actually paying close attention.
→ What are two different ways each person might understand the situation?

• The speaker might think, “They're not listening.”
• The listener might be thinking, “I'm listening carefully.”
• They may concentrate better without making eye contact.
• Eye contact doesn't always mean someone is listening.
• The speaker could ask a question or check for understanding rather than assuming.

300

Two people have different ideas about how much personal space feels comfortable. One person stands closer while talking, and the other steps back.
→ What might each person think is happening?

• Person A might think, “I'm standing at a normal distance.”

• Person B might think, “They're standing too close.”

• Person A may not realize the other person is uncomfortable.

• Person B stepping back could mean they need more space.

• They could communicate their preference respectfully.

400

You show interest by asking lots of questions. Your friend shows interest by listening quietly and making occasional comments. You think your friend isn't interested.
→ How might each person interpret the other's behavior?

• You might think, “They're not interested in what I'm saying.”

• Your friend might think, “I'm listening because I care.”

• People show interest in different ways.

• Quiet listening can still mean someone is interested.

• You could ask, “What do you think?” instead of assuming.

500

You like talking about specific details and facts about your favorite hobby. Your friend prefers short conversations and changing topics often. Your friend starts looking away while you are talking.
→ What might each person be thinking, and how could they be interpreting the situation differently?

• You might think, “They're bored with what I'm saying.”

• Your friend might think, “We've been talking about this for a while.”

• Your friend could be interested but prefer shorter conversations.

• You may have different communication styles.

• Either person could communicate their preference instead of assuming.

• You could ask, “Do you want to keep talking about this?”

Miscommunication

100

You tell your friend about a problem, and they respond, “Okay.” You think they are upset with you. They actually mean, “I'm listening; keep going.”
→ What are two possible meanings of “okay”?

• “Okay” could mean “I'm listening.”
• It could mean “I understand.”
• It could sound like the person is annoyed.
• Tone of voice and facial expression could change the meaning.
• You could ask, “Are you upset?” or “Did you mean you're listening?” 

200

A friend tells you about their favorite YouTuber, but you've never heard of them. You aren't sure what to say, and your friend thinks you aren't interested.
→ What could each person be thinking?

• You might think, “I don't know what to say because I don't know this person.”

• Your friend might think, “They don't care about what I like.”

• You could say, “I've never heard of them. What kind of videos do they make?”

• You could ask what your friend's favorite video is.

• Your friend could explain who the YouTuber is instead of assuming you're uninterested.

300

You are telling someone about your weekend. They suddenly change the subject. You think they don't care about what you were saying. They changed the topic because they thought you had finished talking.
→ How did the two people misunderstand each other?

• You might think, “They aren't interested.”

• The other person might think, “They finished talking.”

• They may have misunderstood whether you were finished.

• You could say, “I wasn't finished telling you about it.”

• They could ask, “Were you finished?”

400

Someone says, “Wow, it's freezing in here!” You interpret it literally and start looking for a way to warm up. They actually mean that the room feels a little cold.
→ Why might the message have been misunderstood?

• You interpreted “freezing” literally.

• The speaker was exaggerating.

• They meant, “It's really cold.”

• The person could clarify what they meant.

• You could ask, “Do you mean it's actually freezing?”

500

Your friend says, “I have a lot of homework tonight.” You think they are simply telling you about their homework. They were actually hinting that they didn't want to make plans that evening.
→ How could the two people interpret the same statement differently?

• You might think, “They're telling me about their homework.”

• Your friend might be thinking, “Hopefully they'll understand that I can't hang out.”

• The friend is communicating indirectly.

• You may not realize there is a hidden meaning.

• Your friend could say directly, “I can't hang out tonight because I have homework.”

• You could ask, “Are you saying you don't want to make plans tonight?”

Double-Empathy

100

You walk up to two classmates who are talking about a TV show you have never watched. You want to join the conversation.
→ What might you be thinking? What might the classmates be thinking?

• You might think, “I want to join, but I don't know what they're talking about.”

• The classmates might think, “They don't know anything about the show.”

• You could ask, “What show are you talking about?”

• They could explain what they are talking about.

• Both people can make an effort to include each other.

200

Someone makes a joke that you don't understand. You don't laugh, so they think you are upset with them. You were simply confused by the joke.
→ How could both people be misunderstanding each other?

• The person telling the joke might think, “They didn't like my joke.”
• You might be thinking, “I don't understand what they mean.”
• Not laughing doesn't necessarily mean someone is upset.
• You could say, “I don't get it.”
• The other person could ask, “Did that make sense?” 

300

Someone says, “We should hang out sometime.” You think they are making a specific plan. They meant it as a friendly statement without making an actual plan.
→ How could both people understand the same words differently?

• You might think, “We're going to make plans.”

• They might think, “I'm just saying I'd like to hang out sometime.”

• The same words can be interpreted differently.

• You could ask, “Do you want to pick a day?”

• The other person could clarify whether they are actually making plans.

400

You think your group agreed on a plan. Another group member thinks everyone agreed to a different plan. You both start working on different parts of the project.
→ What might each person believe, and how could they resolve the misunderstanding?

• You might think, “We already agreed on this.”

• The other person might think, “No, we agreed on something different.”

• Neither person necessarily intended to cause a problem.

• You could go back and review what everyone agreed to.

• Ask each person to explain what they understood.

• Write down the plan so everyone has the same information.

500

You are talking with a new classmate. You give short answers because you are nervous. The classmate thinks you don't want to talk, so they stop asking questions. You think they aren't interested in getting to know you.
→ How did both people misunderstand each other? What could both people do differently?

• ou might think, “They don't want to talk to me.”

• The classmate might think, “They don't want to talk to me.”

• Both people are making assumptions based on the other's behavior.

• You are giving short answers because you're nervous.

• The classmate stops asking questions because they think you're uninterested.

• Either person could check instead of assuming.

• You could say, “Sorry, I'm just nervous. I'd like to talk.”

• The classmate could ask, “Do you want to keep talking?”

• Both people can contribute to solving the misunderstanding.