DEAR
Name 3 types of unhelpful communication and 3 potential consequences.
Unhelpful Comm: yelling, blaming, name calling, shutting down, teasing/mocking, lashing out, swearing, lying, ignoring
Consequences: Distress goes up for us and others, privileges taken away, problem NOT solved, increases conflict, damages relationships, people lost trust in me
In the Lemons to Lemonade, what do “lemons” represent?
A difficult situation
Give three examples of different types of communication (or ways you can communicate).
Verbal/nonverbal communication, writing, facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, texting, etc.
What is a physiological symptom? Give 3 examples.
A physiological symptom is an involuntary, physical reaction of the body to distress.
Examples: shaking, increased heart rate, sweating, headache, stomachache, rapid breathing
Who is Valentine's Day named after?
St. Valentine
Define "assertive communication"
Communicating in a calm, respectful, direct/confident way, and also being open to hearing responses.
What does the sugar and the water represent in Compass lemonade?
Sugar - glimmer of positivity
Water - neutral events, our schedules, etc.
Why is effective communication important?
1. It helps us get our needs met.
2. It increases our understanding of others.
3. It helps us connect and relate to each other.
Give an example of a situation when you might experience physiological symptoms.
Having to go to school, giving a speech, going somewhere new/with people you don't know
What is the most common gift to give on Valentine's Day?
Candy
Name what all the letters of DEAR stand for and then give an example of a complete DEAR statement.
D - Describe the situation
E - Express your emotion/how you feel
A - Ask for what you want/need
R - Reward the listener
Give a personal example of when you could use Lemons to Lemonade.
Group Therapists will decide if your answer counts :)
Explain the difference between "Passive" and "Passive-Aggressive" communication.
Passive Communication/Passive Turtle: Avoiding, hiding, shutting down, speaking really softly, your needs are less important than others' needs.
Passive-Aggressive Communication/P-A Grumpy Cat: Sarcastic, misleading, eye rolling, trying to get needs met in an indirect/confusing/unhelpful way
What is a "false alarm" in relation to physiological symptoms and your amygdala?
A misinterpretation of safety as danger, where the brain’s alarm system (the amygdala) triggers a fight/flight/freeze response—complete with intense physical sensations—despite there being no immediate, life-threatening danger present.
What are the five colors of the Olympic Rings?
Blue, yellow, black, green and red
When you get to step A - "Ask for what you need" - what you ask for should be _______ and ________. Fill in the blanks, and explain why.
Realistic and reasonable. Asking for something UNreasonable or UNrealistic can damage trust over time. You might not get what you ask for every time, but the more you show you can ask for what you need in an appropriate way the more trust you build and the more likely you are to get your needs met.
What is a “glimmer of positivity,” and how might it help someone get through a difficult school or Compass day?
Something to look forward to or balance out your thought pattern to not focus on the negatives!
Explain the difference between "Assertive" and "Aggressive" communication?
Assertive Communication/Assertive Owl: calm, confident, wise, observant, giving space to others to respond, honest/direct but respectful, I-statements, DEAR
Aggressive Communication/Aggressive Tiger: bossy, intimidating, fear producing, threatening, yelling, physical aggression, assuming my needs are above the needs of others
Explain what fight/flight/freeze responses are - give an example for each.
Fight: Your body gears up to fight the danger, characterized by anger, rage, clenching fists, or a desire to confront the threat.
Flight: Your body urges you to run away, manifesting as panic, anxiety, restlessness, or a desire to escape the situation.
Freeze: When fighting or running seems impossible, your body becomes immobile, shut down, numb, or paralyzed by fear.
What is the oldest Winter Olympic sport?
Figure skating
Explain the importance of R in DEAR.
Thanking someone for listening acknowledges their effort even if the outcome wasn’t what you wanted. It shows respect, helps maintain the relationship, and reinforces that being heard still matters. It also reflects emotional maturity and staying aligned with your values, even if you're disappointed.
How does balancing your thinking (positive and negative) influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions on the CBT triangle?
You are less likely to have ANTs build up! If you use L2L after one or two ANTs in a difficult situation, you can stop the cycle and not reach your crisis zone
Thinking about our DBT scale, and how OUR communication is IN OUR control, explain how using assertive communication impacts your distress level, and how engaging in unhelpful communication increases your distress.
Using assertive communication reduces emotional distress by providing a structured, effective way to get needs met without damaging relationships, while unhelpful communication (passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive) increases distress by creating conflict, resentment, and a sense of powerlessness.
Give a personal example of when you had physiological symptoms and identify/explain which fear response you had.
Group therapist will decide if answer counts :)
TEAM V TEAM QUESTION: About how many roses are sent for Valentine’s Day each year? (closest guess wins)
50 million