GIVE
FAST
DEAR MAN
100

Your friend is telling you about a stressful day, and you put your phone away to give them your full attention.

Interested

100

You agree to go out with friends even though you really want to stay home, simply because you don't want them to be upset. What FAST principle could help?

Truthful

100

You tell your friend, "I feel hurt when I'm left out of plans."

Express

200

Your partner shares that something you said hurt their feelings. You respond, "I can understand why that upset you."

Validate

200

You make a reasonable request to your supervisor and avoid repeatedly saying, "I'm sorry, I know this is annoying."

Apologies

200

You say to your supervisor, "I'd like to discuss the possibility of adjusting my work schedule."

Assert

300

You're having a disagreement with your roommate, but you avoid yelling, sarcasm, or making hurtful comments.

Gentle

300

You refuse to compromise an important personal belief just to fit in with a group.

Stick to Values

300

You tell your roommate, "I've noticed that the dishes have been sitting in the sink for the past three days."

Describe

400

Your friend is nervous about an upcoming job interview. You offer encouragement and remind them of their strengths.

Easy Manner

400

During an argument, you remind yourself that your needs and feelings matter just as much as the other person's.

Fair

400

Your friend keeps changing the subject during a difficult conversation, but you calmly return to what you were originally discussing.

Mindful

500

(2 SKILLS): Your friend disagrees with your decision, but you listen, acknowledge their perspective, and communicate respectfully without becoming defensive.

Validate + Gentle

500

(2 SKILLS): Someone pressures you to do something you're uncomfortable with. You respectfully decline, even though you're worried they might judge you.

Truthful + Stick to Values

500

You explain to your roommate, "If we both keep the kitchen clean, it'll make sharing the space much easier."

Reinforce