Effective Consequences
What is an element of an effective consequence?
Possible Answers:
- Size/Degree
- Importance to youth
- Consistency
- Frequency (changing the consequences up)
- Immediate
Give an example of an "I feel" statement you might use when someone is poking you.
"I feel annoyed when you poke me. Can you please stop?"
What is the first step to Effective Communication?
Eye contact.
Give an example of three different situations that you can use SODAS in.
- Deciding who I should hang out with
- Deciding what hours I want to work
- Deciding if I should spend time with my family
- Deciding how I should spend my money
What if someone takes something from your room without asking? What skills(s) could you use?
Effective Consequences
Effective Communication
Expressing Feelings Appropriately
What does Frequency mean when referring to consequences?
Frequency means to change up the type of consequences given so that the youth does not become bored of the consequences (positive or negative).
What does an "I feel" statement do?
Any of the following are acceptable answers:
- It lets other people know how you are feeling
- It helps you set and keep boundaries
- It helps you identify what you are feeling, and what you want to do about it
What does it mean to "Reflect back"?
Reflecting back means to restate what you heard and understood.
How do values play a part in SODAS?
Your values will affect which decisions mean the most to you
Example, if you value honesty, then you will choose an option that allows you to be honest, even if it is harder.
What if someone breaks a promise?
Any skill
What consequence would you give in this scenario?
- Anisty has come home and did not do her expected chores for the night and refuses to do them due to being tired.
Consequences could include:
"If you don't do your chores, then I will take your phone until they are done"
"If you do your chores now, then you can stay in your room the rest of the night without me bothering you"
"If you don't do your chores tonight, then tomorrow you cannot go to work"
"If you don't do your chores tonight, then you will have two more chores to do this weekend"
"If you do your chores tonight, then you can do whatever you want the rest of the night"
Practice the following scenario:
Your dad has just asked you to talk to someone you don't want to talk to.
"I feel _____ when I talk to them because ____."
"I feel _____ when you ask me to talk to them because of _______".
Practice the following situation:
You heard from a child/sibling something that the other person said about you that you want to clarify.
Examples:
"Hey, Jordan told me that you felt it was unfair that I took only him out for ice cream, can you tell me what your thoughts were on that so I can understand better?"
"Hey, Sophia told me that you aren't going to let me go to my friends house tomorrow after you promised I could. Is this true? If it is, can you explain why you changed your mind?"
How many advantages and disadvantages do you list?
Three advantages and three disadvantages.
What if someone tells you something that someone else said that may or may not be true?
All skills
What does "contingency statement" mean?
A contingency statement is an "if/then" statement.
Give an example of using Expressing Feelings Appropriately in this situation:
Someone is asking you to do something that you know you shouldn't do.
Answers may include:
"I feel uncomfortable when you ask me to do that. Please don't ask me again."
"I feel anxious..."
"I feel angry that you would ask me to do that"
Name all six steps to Effective Communication.
1. Eye Contact
2. Maintain calm face and voice
3. Listen without interrupting
4. Reflect back
5. Ask if person felt understood
6. If person did not feel understood, reflect back until they do.
How many options should you give yourself when trying to make a decision
Three
What if someone does something nice for you?
All skills
Give an example of a positive consequence you would give if one of the children did their chores without complaining/whining, and even did an extra chore without being asked.
Examples of a positive consequence:
- Go get a fountain drink from Maverik (cheap)
- Praise ("thank you for doing your chores, when you do your chores without complaining, then I am more likely to say yes to a request you have)
- One on one time (because you did your chores without complaining, we can have a game night/movie night together)
- Because you did your chores without complaining, you can stay up an extra thirty minutes tonight.
What are the six steps to Expressing Feelings Appropriately? (get at least 5 out of 6 for full points)
1. Stay calm
2. Make eye contact
3. Use "I feel" statement
4. Avoid profanity and blaming
5. Take responsibility
6. Thank the person for listening
Practice the following situation:
Albert gets a call from the school saying that Anisty's grades were getting low again.
Examples:
Hey Anisty, I got a call from the school today and wanted to see what's happening?
What does SODAS stand for?
Situation
Options
Disadvantages
Advantages
Solution
What if you need to clarify expectations for an activity coming up?
Effective Communication