Social Smarts/Active Listening
What are "social smarts"?
The type of "smarts" in our brains that we use whenever we are around other people. Help us decide what is expected in different situations.
Name two ways to initiate a conversation
-looking at what someone is wearing
-looking at what someone is doing/holding
-situation
-remember something you have in common
Define perspective and perspective-taking
Perspective-taking: taking or understanding someone else's opinion.
Name three traits we have/look for in a friend?
kind, trustworthy, loyal, fun, good listener
What is self- control?
The ability to control ourselves by
identifying how we are feeling and figuring out how to handle strong and
uncomfortable emotions.
What would be an "expected" behavior in a classroom setting?
Sitting quietly, and listening to the teacher.
Name one way to continue or maintain a conversation
-asking a related question
-making a related comment
Name two non-verbal language cues
Facial expression
body language
tone of voice
situation
Why do we make friends?
To have people to do fun things with, talk to, rely on, trust, etc.
Name the steps to use self-control:
Step 1: Stop and recognize that you are feeling a strong and uncomfortable emotion.
o Step 2: Choose a strategy to maintain self-control. Note: Trying different strategies is important because sometimes a
strategy will work and then other times it won’t. Also, different strategies
work for different people.
o Step 3: Check in with yourself to figure out if the strategy helped you calm down or not. If not, then
try another one or ask an adult for help.
What is active listening & why is it important?
Active Listening is a type of listening that shows our friends and family that we care about what they are saying and are interested in what they are saying. Listening is a building block of other social skills including conversation, taking another's perspective, working together & solving problems
Role play: You see your friend for the first time Monday morning. How do you initiate a conversation? Act it out!
-How was your weekend?
-Look at something they are wearing/holding (if a bball tshirt, ask about bball)
-Think of something you know you have in common
Why is it important to perspective-take?
Not everyone has the same opinion on everything. Perspective-taking helps us be a better friend, and understand how others may be feeling in certain situations which can help us decide how to act / react towards them
Define teasing & bullying
Teasing: to make fun of someone by playfully saying unkind and hurtful things to the person; it can be friendly, but can turn unkind quickly.
Bullying: when teasing is continuous
Name three strategies we discussed as ways to calm down
Name three ways to demonstrate active listening
Eye contact
Mouth is closed
Asking related questions/making comments
Body facing person who is speaking
Hands/feet are quiet
Ears are on
Why is it important to maintain a conversation?
If we don't respond at all, and just stare at the person who is speaking to us, they may think we weren't listening, or that we don't care about what they were saying.
How do we read others' moods?
By looking at their non-verbal language cues:
1) Facial expressions & body language -are they smiling? Is their body facing me?
(2) Eye contact - are they looking back at me?
(3) Tone of voice - are they speaking in a loud and excited voice?
(4) What is around them in the environment? (the place, objects, time, and space)
Name two ways to handle teasing
positive self- talk,
walk away,
self-advocacy
What does it mean to be a flexible-thinker?
thinking about more than one solution, thinking
about others, being okay if your plans change, keeping an open mind, and trying new things
Role play a conversation with a friend where you are demonstrating active listening
eye contact, body facing, hands and feet quiet, mouth closed, ears on. asking related questions and making related comments
Why is it important that our comment or question be related to what the person was saying when maintaining a conversation?
It shows we were listening and that we care about what they were saying.
Why is it important to read others' moods?
If we take the time to read people’s mood we will know what to say and how to act around them. If we don’t read people’s mood we might continue behaviors that make others annoyed or uncomfortable.
What is self-advocacy & how do we appropriately self-advocate?
standing up or speaking up for yourself and letting others know how you are feeling, and what you want or need to solve a problem. For example, if a classmate is calling you a name you don’t like repeatedly, you can self-advocate by telling them to stop: “Please stop calling me that, I don’t like it.”
choose kinds words, use an appropriate volume, and a friendly tone
Name two strategies we can use to be a flexible thinking & why it is important:
Think of ideas: Being flexible starts with understanding there are choices, options, and different ways to look at a situation. We can be flexible when we see we have choices. (e.g., I like card games so I can play a variety of games- Uno, War, etc.)
2) Compromise: Sometimes being flexible means compromising with others.
Define compromise: meeting in the middle, everyone gives a little and gets a little to reach a mutual agreement.
It is important to be flexible because it helps us get along with others/avoid arguments with others, and problem solve!