Effective Listening
What is one way that you can show someone that you are listening to what they are saying through non-verbal communication?
Nodding your head, eye contact, open body language (facing the person, not crossing your arms)
Rule #1: Meet and Greet Politely
This involves...
Your friend comes into the lunchroom and looks like she had just been crying. How can you pay attention to your friend?
Stopping what you’re doing so you can listen, reading people’s emotions through their body language and facial expressions, changing your behavior to match what other people are doing, like quieting down with the rest of the room
Why might it be important to identify how you are feeling in a conflict situation?
If you are too upset to resolve an issue, its best to use a coping skills to help you calm down first so that you don't say or do anything when you are emotional.
You can also name how a situation made you feel and use an "I" statement when working to resolve the conflict.
You are talking to a friend. While you are speaking, they take out their phone and start scrolling on TikTok. You feel it's disrespectful of them to not be paying attention to you. What do you do?
BONUS: What is the non-verbal communication (50 points)
Let them know that you are trying to talk to them, and that they are not showing you that they are listening to you.
Your friend is demonstrating through their body language that their phone is a priority to what you were saying.
What is one way that you can show someone that you are listening to what they are saying through verbal communication?
Acknowledge how they are feeling/what they are saying.
Rule #2: Take Turns Talking
This involves...
Listening when others speak and looking them in the eye
It can be easy to be the only person talking. How do you make sure to take turns when you are talking with someone?
Listening when others speak and looking them in the eye, not interrupting, responding appropriately and at the right time
How do you know when there is a conflict, and how do you figure out what the problem is?
Emotions are important for us to know when we feel upset, angry, sad or bothered by a situation. Understanding the triggers to what made us upset can help us figure out what the conflict actual is.
You are on the bus and you sit next to a friend who is reading a book. You start talking to your friend when your friend asks if you can stop talking until they finish the chapter they are reading. How do you respond?
Respect your friend's request. They were reading the book before you got on the bus.
Your friend is letting you know that they want to finish the chapter and will then be able to give you their attention and focus.
How does your tone of voice effect your communication with others and showing them that you are listening to them?
Keeping a monotone voice, keeping responses to one for or vocalizations such as "hmmm" can be indicators that someone isn't fully listening.
Rule #3: Pay Attention to Others
This involves:
At recess, Hillary asks Ava twice to play tag with her. When Hillary approaches Ava a third time, she doesn’t notice Ava crossing her arms and shaking her head.
What went wrong in this interaction?
Hillary wasn't accepting no to the answer to play tag, and instead asks the same question repeatedly.
Why might it be important to brainstorm possible solutions to conflict?
Each solution could come with their own set of issues. Sometimes we need to think about what is the best option to resolve the conflict.
How can someone's facial expressions communicate how they are feeling about a situation?
We use our faces to express how we’re feeling, whether or not we intend to. We raise our eyebrows when questioning something, smile wide when happy and sulk when we feel angry.
Facial expressions can be the most obvious social cues. It’s hard to hide an emotion when it’s “written all over your face.” And it can be frustrating when someone fails to “read” how we’re feeling.
How do you think "keeping an open mind" can be helpful when trying to listen to others?
Try to listen without jumping to conclusions. Listen to the other person and the message they are trying to tell you.
Rule #4: Think About Others Before Acting
This involves...
You are meeting someone for the first time, how do you approach them?
Say Hello, introduce yourself, when the conversation is finished say goodbye.
What can you gain from putting yourself in someone else's shoes when trying to resolve conflict?
You can try to understand what the other person might be feeling or thinking within the conflict. Acknowledge how the other person might be feelings, even if you don't agree with them.
How can you communicate how you are feeling through your body language?
Sometimes an emotion is so strong, it affects the way we hold our body. We slump our shoulders when tired, shrug when we don’t know an answer and add a skip to our step when we’re happy.
Body language can be involuntary or done on purpose. Either way, it’s an important way of communicating. Some kids can totally misunderstand what’s being said. And people can feel annoyed when the signs they’re giving off with their body are ignored.
Ho can asking clarifying questions be helpful when being an effective listener?
It shows that you are interested in what the person is saying and allows you to ask questions if you are confused about something that was said.
Rule #5: Cooperate With Others
This involves...
You are really excited to tell your friend something that you heard about last night. You see them waiting in line at the bus stop. How can you think about others before acting?
No touching without asking, no cutting in line, waiting your turn, standing a comfortable distance away when talking
If you are in a conflict with a friend, why might it be important to think beyond this one conflict?
No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Think about if this is a one time situation, or if it is a pattern of behavior.
What is personal space or physical boundaries?
If we’re interested in someone, we tend to move closer (but not too close). When we take a step away, we signal that we’d rather keep our distance.
Standing too close to (or too far from) someone can be awkward. It can also communicate something kids don’t mean to say.