Social Thinking 1
What are Hidden Rules?
Rules that aren't announced or written down anywhere, but we are still supposed to follow them. We figure them out by observing what other people are doing.
What are Friend Files?
This is when we learn information about others and file it in an organized way in our brain so we can recall it later when we see those people again.
We remember how people act, what we talked about with them, things they like.
These are rules that people figure out through observation and experience. They are not written rules.
Hidden Rules
Name two Small Talk topics.
Weather, traffic, Pop Culture, Music, Movies, Questions about their day or weekend plans
You refuse to go to a new restaurant because you’ve never been there.
Flexible or Stuck Thinking?
What is Stuck Thinking
What does "Thinking with your eyes" mean?
When you use your eyes to figure out what messages others are sending, what they're thinking about, and what behavior they might do.
What is the Social Fake?
It's when someone fakes it through the boring moment, rather than tell people they are not interested in what the other person is talking about.
Following the hidden rules so that people have good feelings about us = Expected OR Unexpected Behavior?
Expected Behavior
Name an example of a person that is an acquaintance.
Could be a tutor, your cousin's friend, the person that cuts your hair, person working at Publix or Kroger.
A Comment that is completely disconnected to what has previously been said.
Add-a-Thought OR Whopping Topic Change?
Whopping Topic Change
What is Flexible Thinking?
It is he ability to interpret information based on different points of view or different contexts.
It means being okay with a change of plans.
What is a "Whopping Topic Change"?
It is a comment which is completely disconnected to what has been previously said. The listener cannot figure out how the speaker arrived at the “whopping topic change” comment.
Failing to follow the set of hidden rules in a specific environment = Expected OR Unexpected Behavior?
Unexpected behavior
Give some examples of someone who is a stranger.
Who is the mailman, the cashier at the store, people at the movie theater, people at a concert
Size of the Problem + Size of the Reaction
Your friend cancels plans, and you text them 20 angry messages.
Do they Match?
No! It was an overreaction.
What is Expected vs. Unexpected behavior?
There is a range of hidden rules in every situation, and we have to figure out what those rules are and then follow them in order to keep other people feeling good about us.
Following the hidden rules is “doing what is expected”.
What is a Brain Filter?
It is when we:
1. Stop and think when we have a thought
2. Decide if we should SAY IT, CHANGE IT, or STOP from saying it
3. Thoughts might sound unexpected and make people feel weird or bad
This is casual conversation we have with acquaintances: topics include weather, weekend plans, movies, food.
Small Talk
True or false, you can give an acquaintance a close hug.
What is false.
You get upset when plans change and can’t calm down.
Flexible or Stuck thinking?
What is stuck thinking
What is Perspective?
It is someone's Point of View, or way of looking at something.
What is Small Talk?
Friendly talk with acquaintances: weather, movies, food, weekend plans.
True of false: Boundaries are invisible lines that define what is and isn't acceptable behavior for an individual.
True!
A friend floods you with hundreds of unwanted texts a day. Think of a rude way to respond and a polite way. Which do you think would work better and why?
Polite, it is best to let them know that multiple text messages are bothering you and ask them to please send less text messages.
Demonstrating interest in someone else's topic that you don't really find to be fascinating.This involves “faking it” through a boring moment rather than telling people you’re not interested in what they're talking about. What is this called?
Social fake