Your Brain on Moepardy
This part of your brain helps you make decisions, plan ahead, and stop yourself from texting your ex at 2 AM.
What is the frontal lobe?
It’s the first session where your therapist nods a lot, asks about your history, and secretly hopes you didn’t Google-diagnose yourself before coming.
What is an intake session?
This toga-wearing philosopher asked so many questions that the government was like, “You know what? Just drink this poison.”
Who is Socrates?
This internal war was less about family drama and more about states saying, “You’re not the boss of me!”
What is the Civil War?
Before it was called PTSD, soldiers in WWI had this charmingly vague diagnosis, which made it sound like they were slightly overcooked.
What is shell shock?
He sat under a tree for 49 days and came back with inner peace... and probably a stiff back.
Who is Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)?
When you hear a strange noise in the middle of the night and immediately assume it's a serial killer and not your cat—this part of your brain is working overtime.
What is the amygdala?
This type of therapy helps you challenge the thought, “Everyone hates me,” especially when the “everyone” is actually your neighbor’s dog.
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
He stared into the void and it stared back... then he grew a mustache and declared God was dead. Classic Tuesday!
Who is Friedrich Nietzsche?
This war featured trench foot, mustard gas, and mustaches that could command respect from 100 yards away.
What is World War I?
Psychologists learned that if you put enough soldiers in close quarters for too long, you either get trauma... or a barbershop quartet.
What is group cohesion?
According to Buddhism, this is the root of all suffering—not stubbing your toe or forgetting your Netflix password.
What is attachment/desire?
The brain's personal librarian, responsible for turning short-term chaos into long-term stories—though it probably doesn’t remember where you put your keys.
What is the hippocampus?
If you just said “I don’t have defense mechanisms, unlike other people,” you may be demonstrating this classic one.
What is denial?
He said, “I think, therefore I am,” which was deep—until someone asked, “But do you do your dishes?”
Who is René Descartes?
This wasn’t an actual war, but it involved spies, nukes, and the constant fear that someone might push a big button.
What is the Cold War?
This was the military’s version of “self-care,” except it came with marching, canned meat, and a lot of shouting.
What is maintaining troop morale?
This practice clears the mind… unless your brain decides it’s time to replay every awkward thing you’ve ever said since 2007.
What is meditation?
The logical parent in your brain family who says, “Maybe don’t eat the entire pizza before therapy.”
What is the prefrontal cortex?
When your therapist says, “Let’s explore that,” and you say, “Hard pass,” this skill helps you protect your emotional energy.
What are boundaries?
This philosopher believed in a moral “categorical imperative” and would definitely judge you for not recycling.
Who is Immanuel Kant?
It’s the conflict where GPS got popular, sand got everywhere, and military camo met desert chic.
What is the Gulf War?
In the Cold War, psychologists were fascinated by this creepy-sounding concept that made everyone afraid their cousin had been hypnotized by communists.
What is mind control / brainwashing?
Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Which is deep… and also terrible party advice.
What is a teaching on forgiveness / letting go of anger?
This tiny brain buddy helps you stay balanced and coordinated—unless you're on roller skates or Monday mornings.
What is the cerebellum?
It’s the mysterious weapon therapists wield that involves total silence, steady eye contact, and just enough head tilt to make you spill your deepest secrets.
What is active listening?
He imagined a world where perfect chairs exist—and no, he was not high.
Who is Plato?
This early 1800s war was basically the sequel nobody asked for—featuring burning buildings, angry Brits, and somehow the writing of the national anthem.
What is the War of 1812?
Wartime shrinks learned that treating trauma closer to the frontlines helped. Also, nothing says “healing” like therapy next to a tank.
What is proximity-based treatment / forward psychiatry?
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: still chop wood, carry water.” Translation: spiritual growth doesn’t get you out of chores.
What is a Zen proverb about mindfulness in daily life?
The original multitasker, quietly keeping you breathing, your heart beating, and you somehow upright during awkward group icebreakers.
What is the brainstem?
This handy book has all the mental health labels, but unfortunately no tips on dating or doing taxes.
What is the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)?
his guy said life is meaningless, but don’t worry—he also said we should imagine Sisyphus happy. Because nothing says joy like eternal rock-pushing.
Who is Albert Camus?
This top-secret project created the world’s first atomic bomb, proving that when scientists get together, they can either solve world hunger… or vaporize a city.
What is the Manhattan Project?
Psych testing during WWII helped assign roles, which meant some poor guy’s entire war story was just... “I’m the clerk because I nailed the multiple choice.”
What is psychological assessment / aptitude testing?
In Buddhism, this cause-and-effect law means your actions matter—so yes, even stealing someone’s parking spot could come back as a stubbed toe.
What is karma?
This brain part lights up like a slot machine when you get a compliment, a cookie, or a new follower on TikTok.
What is the nucleus accumbens?
Where strangers become allies, eye rolls become breakthroughs, and someone always brings tissues... or trauma.
What is group therapy?
He believed in controlling your emotions and accepting fate... which is just a fancy way of saying, “I ghosted you for philosophical reasons.”
Who is Marcus Aurelius?
When the U.S. decided war could go intergalactic, this new branch of the military was launched—now recruiting future Jedi.
What is the Space Force?
In WWII, psychologists helped design messages so convincing, even your grandma might’ve enlisted after reading a poster with Uncle Sam glaring at her.
What is psychological warfare / propaganda design?
“You only lose what you cling to,” said Buddha—so maybe it’s time to release that grudge and that ex’s hoodie.
What is a Buddhist teaching on non-attachment?