Puns and Bad Jokes
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7,8,9
What is half of two plus two?
What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?
Clock
A man rode into town on Friday. He stayed for three nights and then left on Friday. How is this possible?
The horses name was Friday.
What gets wet while drying?
A towel.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
If you divide 30 by half and add 10, what do you get?
70
I'm tall when I'm young, and I'm short when I'm old. What am I?
A Candle
A man is found dead in a circular mansion. The detective interviews the cook, maid, and butler. The cook claims he was preparing breakfast, the maid claims she was dusting corners, and the butler claims he was getting the mail. Who did it?
The maid.
How many months have 28 days?
All of them
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
What number do you get when you multiply all of the numbers on a telephone's number pad?
0
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
The letter M
Two girls were born to the same mother, on the same day, at the same time, in the same month and year and yet they're not twins. How can this be?
They are two of a set of triplets.
You flip a coin 10 times, and it lands on heads each time. What are the odds that it will land on heads on the 11th flip?
The odds are still 50/50.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta
What three numbers, none of which is zero, give the same result whether they're added or multiplied?
1, 2, and 3 (1 + 2 + 3 = 6 and 1 × 2 × 3 = 6)
There is a house. One enters it blind and comes out seeing. What is it? (Worlds Oldest Riddle)
A School
A girl who was just learning to drive went down a one-way street in the wrong direction, but didn't break the law. How is this possible?
She was walking.
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and Dinner
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had too many problems!
What letter is next in this sequence?
O,T,T,F,F,S,S
E
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
I haven’t the slightest idea!
or
because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat; and it is never put with the wrong end in front!
or
because Poe wrote on both
A man lived alone in a house for 2 months. He never left. Nobody visited. At the end of this time he became deranged. He put out the fire, turned off the lights and left his house. This resulted an accident that injured 90 people. How?
He was a lighthouse keeper.
What has many keys, but no locks; space, but no room; you can enter, but not go in?
Keyboard