Editing
What change if any needs to be made to sentence 5?
(5) They took Oliver out of his pen and put him in there car.
Change there to their
Claire wants to strengthen the focus of her story. Which of the following is the BEST replacement for sentence 10?
(7) All week at camp Jared had eyed the tall cliff. (8) He had seen other campers rappelling down the side of it. (9) It looked so cool—but so scary at the same time! (10) Jared wanted to do it, and it was to rappel.
A Being at camp had been a wonderful experience for Jared and the other kids.
B Jared was sometimes a little afraid to do things he had never done before.
C Today was Jared’s last chance to overcome his fear and give rappelling a try.
D Even though the others had been rappelling down the side of the cliff, Jared
didn’t want to.
What is the correct way to write sentences 11 and 12?
(11) While the people went upstairs. (12) Oliver was left to sleep downstairs in the basement.
A While the people went upstairs, Oliver was left to sleep downstairs in the
basement.
B The people went upstairs, and Oliver was left. To sleep downstairs in the
basement.
C The people went upstairs, Oliver was left to sleep downstairs in the basement.
D Sentences 11 and 12 are written correctly in the story.
What is the definition of develop?
The meaning of sentence 12 is unclear. What change can Claire make to improve the clarity of this sentence?
(11) Now Jared was hooked up to a rope by a complicated mass of straps. (12) He was at the top of the cliff with him, saying something about how strong the rope was.
F Change He to Another counselor
G Change cliff to spot
H Change him to them
J Change the rope to it
What correction needs to be made to the following sentence:
(20) Olivers ears stood up on his head.
Change Olivers to Oliver’s
the study of the classes of words, their inflections and their functions and relations in the sentence.
Which of these sentences can BEST follow and support sentence 15?
(14) “Nice to know,” Jared said. (15) At the bottom of the cliff, Andrea was also connected to the rope.
(16) It was time.
A She would help keep the rope tight and make sure Jared was safe coming down.
B Andrea had been such a good friend, and looking down at her right now made Jared think of all the fun they had had.
C Jared was feeling great and stepped back from the cliff to look around at all the beautiful scenery.
D Andrea was right there, connected to the rope that Jared was connected to at the bottom of the cliff.
How should sentence 30 be changed?
(30) “I’m a clown fish,” a striped orange-and-white thing said with a giggle.”
A Change striped to stripped
B Change said to says
C Delete the quotation marks after the period
D The sentence should not be changed.
What is the most effective way to combine sentences 24 and 25?
(24) He made his way steadily down. (25) A grin began to spread over his face.
F Since he made his way steadily down with a grin, it began to spread over his face.
G He made his way steadily down because a grin began to spread over his face.
H As he made his way steadily down, a grin began to spread over his face.
J He made his way steadily down a grin began to spread over his face.
What is the correct way to write sentence 33?
(33) The shrimp swam after the clown fish, the coral cheered, waving its arms wildly.
F The shrimp swam after the clown fish. The coral cheering and waving its arms wildly.
G The shrimp swam after the clown fish, and the coral cheered, it waved its arms wildly.
H The shrimp swam after the clown fish, and the coral cheered. Waving its arms wildly.
J The shrimp swam after the clown fish. The coral cheered, waving its arms wildly.
Impressive or striking.
Claire’s paper ends abruptly and leaves the reader wondering what happens next.
Which sentence should Claire add to the end of her paper?
(28) His legs were still a bit shaky as he gave Andrea a high five. (29) But Jared knew exactly what his first words would be now that he had made it down.
F He had made it down and had actually rappelled.
G “Where’s my snack?” he asked the counselors.
H He didn’t have a doubt about what he wanted to say.
J “Can I do it again?” he shouted with excitement.