SCIENCE
Which is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
They both weigh the same.
What has keys but no locks, space but no room and you can enter but you can't go in side?
A keyboard.
What kind of ears does an engine have?
Engineers.
Why did the vampire take an art class?
to learn how to draw blood
How many sides does a circle have?
Two. Inside and Outside.
What period of time weighs the least?
A light-year.
Why do computer teachers never get sick?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
Charcoal
I am four times as old as my son. In 20 years time I shall be twice as old as him. How old are we now?
I am 40. My son is 20.
What is full of holes but still holds water?
A sponge.
How does Bill Gates enter his home?
The Windows.
If you have a square room with no roof, and you had four flagpoles you had to plant on the walls so that each flagpole touched two walls, how would you do it?
Put them in the corners dummy.
How do you inspire an artist?
Easel-y
I add six to eleven, and get five. Why is this correct?
Because its the right time!
Give me food and I will live. Give me water and I will die. What am I?
Fire.
Which family member did the computer go visit?
Anti-Virus.
If you had an infinite supply of water and a 5-liter and 3-liter bucket, how would you measure exactly 4 liters? The buckets do not have any intermediate markings.
A lot of wasted water.
What does a momma color wheel say to an angrybaby color wheel?
Lower your tone!
My twin lives at the reverse of my house number. The difference between our house numbers ends in two. What are the lowest possible numbers of our house numbers?
The lowest possible numbers for the houses are 19 and 91. The difference is 72.
Occasionally associated with smelly things, what state of matter am I?
Gas.
Why did the flashlight, the camera, and the remote-controlled car attend the funeral?
They were grieving the dead batteries.
Can you make 188 into 100 with 1 line?
188 (Strikethough)
Why was the artist afraid he might go to jail?
Because he was framed!
A duck was given $9, a spider was given $36, a bee was given $27. Based off of this information, how much money would be given to a cat?
$18 ($4.50 per leg)