Key Ideas
This type of conversation focuses on resolving disagreements while preserving relationships.
What is a conflict conversation?
Repeating someone's point in your own words is called this.
What is paraphrasing?
Assuming someone's intentions without asking is this common mistake.
What is making assumptions?
Someone says:
"You never listen to me."
What's the best first response?
Can you tell me more about what made you feel that way?
Fill in the blank:
People want to feel ______ before they'll change their minds.
Understood.
According to Duhigg, successful conflict conversations begin with understanding this before solving the problem.
What are the other person's goals or perspective?
This listening technique confirms you've understood before responding.
What is looping for understanding?
Winning the argument instead of understanding the person is a sign of focusing on this.
What is being right (or winning)?
A coworker becomes defensive.
What should you do first?
Slow down and understand their perspective.
True or False:
Facts alone usually change people's opinions.
False.
Rather than convincing someone they're wrong, great communicators try to discover this.
What experiences or beliefs led them to their viewpoint?
Instead of preparing your rebuttal, you should do this.
What is actively listen?
People often argue about positions instead of these.
What are interests or underlying needs?
Your teammate disagrees with your idea.
What's a better response?
A)
Explain why you're right.
B)
Ask what concerns them.
B
The goal of conflict is not agreement but ______.
Understanding.
Conflict becomes productive when both people feel this.
What is psychological safety?
Name three behaviors that show someone feels heard.
Escalation usually happens when people stop being this.
What is curious?
A conversation becomes emotional.
According to Chapter 6, what's usually the better move?
Acknowledge emotions before solving the problem.
Name one communication habit that makes difficult conversations more productive.