Open Ended Quesitons
“She never listens to me.”
“Can you tell me about a time you felt unheard?”
“She’s lazy.”
“What expectations do you have about effort on this project?”
“I want an apology.”
“What would an apology represent for you?”
A party looks visibly upset but says, “I’m fine.”
“I’m noticing this may feel difficult—would you like to share what’s coming up for you?”
One party dominates the conversation.
“Would it be okay if we paused to hear from you about how you’re experiencing this?”
“This whole thing is unfair.”
“What feels unfair about it to you?”
“He just wants control.”
“What concerns do you have about how decisions are being made?”
“I want the project reassigned.”
“What concerns are you hoping reassignment would address?”
“It’s whatever.”
“Is there something important that feels hard to say right now?”
One party interrupts repeatedly.
“How can we structure this conversation so both of you feel heard?”
“I’m just done trying.”
“What’s been happening that’s left you feeling done?”
“They’re completely irresponsible.”
“What responsibilities feel important to you here?”
“I want them written up.”
“What outcome would feel fair to you?”
A party crosses arms and withdraws.
“Would it help to pause and check in about how this conversation is feeling?”
One party looks hesitant to speak.
“Would you like more space to share your perspective?”
“He doesn’t respect me.”
“What does respect look like to you in this situation?”
“She embarrassed me on purpose.”
“What impact did that moment have on you?”
“I’m not working with her anymore.”
“What would need to change for collaboration to feel possible?”
“No one ever takes me seriously.”
“When have you felt taken seriously in the past?”
“There’s no point in talking.”
“What would need to happen for this conversation to feel worthwhile?”
“This always happens.”
“Can you walk me through a recent example of when this happened?”
“He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”
“What makes you question whether your needs are being considered?”
“I want a formal complaint filed.”
“What would filing a complaint accomplish for you?”
“This makes me feel small.”
“What would help you feel valued in this space?”
Tension escalates.
“Would it help to pause and check what each of you needs right now?”