THAT WAS A LAW???
I'M THIS OLD
DUMBEST CRIMINALS
DUMBEST INVENTIONS IN HISTORY
DUMBEST LAWSUITS IN HISTORY
100

IN 1948, THE CONNECTICUT FOOD AND DRUG COMMISSIONER MADE HEADLINES BY ARRESTING TWO PICKLE PACKERS FOR SELLING SUBPAR PICKLES. WHAT SPECIFIC TEST DID A REAL PICKLE LEGALLY HAVE TO PASS?

A) IT MUST FLOAT IN A BUCKET OF MILK

B) IT MUST BOUNCE WHEN DROPPED FROM A HEIGHT OF ONE FOOT

C) IT MUST BE GREEN ALL THE WAY TO THE CORE

B)  AS VERIFIED BY READER'S DIGEST, A PICKLE WAS LEGALLY REQURIED TO BOUNCE!
100
Historians discovered the world’s oldest recorded joke carved on an ancient Sumerian clay tablet. What layered comedic marvel did these Mesopotamian pioneers pass down as part of their legacy?


A) "Why did the Mesopotamian cross the Tigris? To get to the other side."

B) "A dog walks into a tavern and says, 'I cannot see a thing. I'll open this one.'"

C) "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap.

C) Yes, the oldest joke in human history is a toilet joke! It was found on ancient tablets tracing back as far as 1900 BCE

100
In 1995, a man named MacArthur Wheeler robbed two banks in broad daylight in Pittsburgh. Because he knew security cameras would record him, he rubbed his face with a common household item, genuinely believing it would render him completely invisible to the cameras. What did he use?


A) Olive oil
B) Lemon juice
C) Bleach
D) Hair gel
(B. Wheeler had read that lemon juice is used for invisible ink, so he thought rubbing it on his face would make him a human cloaking device! Psychologists later studied this, inspiring the term "Dunning-Kruger effect".)


100

What was the Pet Rock from

A) A robotic pet that barked

B) A smooth stone sold in a box with a care manual

C) A heated rock to warm your feet

B) A smooth stone sold in a box with a care manual

100

In 1930s Oklahoma, you could not share a meal with a specific animal. Which one was it?

A) A horse

B) A mule

C) An elephant

B) Mule

200

ACCORDING TO A WELL-KNOWN BIT OF UK PARLIAMENTARY LORE, IT IT STRICTLY ILLEGAL TO DO WHAT SPECIFIC THING IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS?

A) EAT A MUFFIN DURING A SESSION

B) WEAR A HAT WHILE SEATED

C) DIE INSIDE THE BUILDING

C) BECAUSE THE PALACE OF WESTMINSTER IS A ROYAL PALACE, ANYONE WHO DIES THERE IS TECHNICALLY ENTITLED TO A STATE FUNERAL.
200
Another one of history’s earliest recorded quips comes from Ancient Egypt's Westcar Papyrus, dating back to 1600 BC. How did ancient Egyptians suggest curing a bored Pharaoh?



A) Hosting the first-ever game of charades using mummified cats.

B) Having a court jester tell a knock-knock joke.

C) Sailing a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile.

Answer: C. According to experts analyzing these historical records, the text suggests urging the Pharaoh to go catch a fish while the women row by.

200
In 2012, a wanted extremist commander in Afghanistan—who had a price on his head—walked straight up to an Afghan police checkpoint. He pointed to a wanted poster showing his face, admitted it was him, and made a baffling demand to the officers. What did he ask for?


A) A pardon
B) To be put on television
C) The reward money for his own capture
D) A cigarette
(C. The suspect enthusiastically confirmed his identity and demanded the $100 reward.)


200

Why was the Diet Water of the early 2000s a bad idea?

A) Regular water already has zero calories and zero fat

B)  A smooth stone sold in a box with a care manual

C)  A rock that glowed in the dark

B) Regular water already has zero calories and zero fat

200

In a city in Victoria, Australia, you cannot change a lightbulb unless you hold a specific qualification. What kind of person can legally do it?

A) A licensed electrician

B) The property owner

C) A certified plumber

 A) A licensed electrician. Under old Victorian law, it was illegal for a regular homeowner to change their own lightbulb; you had to hire a pro

300
Under the UK's Salmon Act of 1986, it is illegal to handle salmon under "suspicious circumstances." What was the lawmakers' actual intent behind this seemingly absurd phrasing?


A) To prevent illegal poaching and handling of fish by unauthorized individuals

B) To stop people from tickling trout in shallow streams

C) To ban using salmon as a weapon

A - While the wording is famously bizarre, the act was a serious measure to deter poaching 


300
Ancient Romans absolutely loved a good, lowbrow insult. Historians have found "your mom" jokes recorded in Latin dating all the way back to the 1st century AD. How might a Roman jokester have insulted their rival?


A) "Your mother is so poor, she wears togas made of lettuce."

B) "Your mother is so old, she remembers when the Capitoline Hill was just dirt."

C) "Your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!"

Answer: B. Romans loved utilizing age-based insults to roast their political opponents and casual acquaintances alike.

300
In 2003, a man in Grants Pass, Oregon, broke into a home and was so delighted to find a can of tuna and oatmeal that he lost situational awareness. After making his getaway, police were able to track him directly to his motel room simply by following a trail of white footprints. What substance had he stepped in?


A) Flour
B) Wet cement
C) Shaving cream
D) White paint
(D. In his excitement, he walked right through a can of paint he had thrown at the window earlier.)


300

What did the Rejuvenique Electronic Face Mask claim to do in the late 1990s?

A) Cool your skin with ice packs

B) Read your mind while you slept

C) Tone facial muscles using light electric shocks from a hockey-style mask

 C) Tone facial muscles using light electric shocks from a hockey-style mask. It looked like a horror movie prop while trying to make people look younger.

300

An old British law from the 1300s states that dead whales found on the coast belong to the reigning monarch. How are the parts split between the king and queen?

A) The tail goes to the king and the head to the queen.

B) The head goes to the king and the tail to the queen for her corset.

C) The king gets the whole whale and the queen gets nothing.

 B) The head goes to the king and the tail to the queen for her corset. The law declared the head belonged to the King and the tail belonged to the Queen so she could use the whalebone for her corsets.

400
In the city of Sterling, Colorado, local law once dictated that cats were allowed to roam free, but with one highly specific vehicle-related safety requirement. What was it?


A) They had to wear a bell at all times

B) They had to be equipped with a taillight

C) They were only allowed outside at night

B - According to historic strange law archives compiled by the Forest Grove School District, roaming cats were indeed required to be fit with a taillight at night.


400
Ancient Mesopotamia didn't just give us the wheel; they also gave us the "a guy walks into a bar" format. Discovered on a 4,000-year-old clay tablet from the Old Babylonian period, what was the punchline to the world's oldest bar joke?


A) "And the bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"

B) "The dog says, 'I cannot see a thing. I'll open this one.'"

C) "The priest says, 'I'll have a glass of your finest vintage.'"

B. This dog-centric bar joke features a punchline that scholars still heavily debate over whether it was a pun, a slapstick scenario, or a local cultural reference.

400
In upstate New York, a suspect was chased by police through the streets after an attempted break-in at a mini-mart. He lost the officers but sought refuge by jumping a fence into a large, secure compound. He was immediately nabbed by a guard. What facility did he accidentally break into?


A) The local police department
B) The FBI field office
C) Sing Sing Maximum Security Prison
D) The Mayor's house
(C. He vaulted directly onto the grounds of one of the country's most secure prisons.)


400

How did the Baby Cage from the 1930s work for city families?

A) It was a metal basket hung out apartment windows for fresh air

B) It was a heavy playpen for the living room

C) It was a stroller with high safety bars

C) It was a stroller with high safety bars

400

In Oklahoma, taking a bite out of something that belongs to someone else without asking is a crime. What food item is specifically named?

A) A slice of pizza

B) A whole apple

C) Someone else's hamburger

 C) Someone else's hamburger. Legally, it was framed as a misdemeanor to take a bite out of another person's hamburger.

500
In Atwoodville, Connecticut, locals were prohibited by a bizarre local ordinance from playing a popular board game while waiting for a politician to speak. Which game was it?


A) Monopoly

B) Chess

C) Scrabble

C - Playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician's speech was actually banned in an effort to maintain decorum during public addresses Forest Grove School District.


500

What is the world's oldest documented written language system?

A) Egyptian hieroglyphics

B) Chinese oracle bone script

C) Sumerian cuneiform

C) Sumerian cuneiform dates back to around 3200 BC in ancient Mesopotamia.

500
A man was caught on security cameras stealing a DVD player and later a barbecue grill from a thrift store porch. When confronted by authorities, he offered an incredibly brazen excuse for why he took the items. What was his defense?


A) He thought the store was an abandoned building
B) He thought the items were being thrown away
C) He misunderstood the charity's name, believing the items were free for anyone to take
(C. He tried to argue that the store name "Finders Keepers" meant everything outside was free!)


500

What did this bizarre hairpiece promise to cure using electricity?

A) Bad hair days

B) Baldness and gray hair

C) Headaches and bad moods

A) Bad hair days

500

In the United Kingdom, who legally owns any dead whale or sturgeon found stranded on the coast?

A) The person who finds it first

B) The local mayor

C) The reigning monarch

C) The reigning monarch — A 14th-century British law states that the reigning king or queen owns all whales and sturgeons found in British waters.