Mindfulness
This is one of the actions you take to practice Mindfulness.
What is Observe, Describe, or Participate?
This is the skill for when you reach a skills breakdown point - your emotions are so high you can't think straight.
What is TIPP? (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Paired Muscle Relaxation)
This skill entails taking care of your physical needs.
What is PLEASE? (treat Physical ILlness, balance Eating, Avoid mood-altering substances, balance Sleep, Exercise)
You use this aspect of DEARMAN to Nonjudgmentally establish the facts you are referring to to minimize confusion and miscommunication.
What is Describe?
This is when it is helpful to practice Distress Tolerance skills.
Two acceptable responses: What is before there is a crisis, so they become habitual? or What is to avoid making things worse (but not to solve long-term problems)?
This is an adverb (ends in -ly) describing how to practice Mindfulness.
What is One Mindfully, Nonjudgmentally, or Effectively?
This is an example of Meaning from IMPROVE the Moment.
What is finding something meaningful about the situation that motivates you, like, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," or, "Everything happens for a reason," or, "Living well is the best revenge," "If nothing else, I will suffer well."
Learning a new skill, exercising, and cleaning are all examples of this skill.
What is Build Mastery?
This is the approach to take to a conversation when the relationship is more important than the goal or self-respect.
What is GIVE? (be Gentle, act Interested, Validate, use an Easy Manner)
as opposed to FAST (be Fair, no unnecessary Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful)
This is the most common thing that can go wrong when trying to use Build Mastery.
What is making goals too hard (not reliably achievable) or too easy (not satisfying)?
This is when you balance two opposing mental states, like emotion and reason.
What is Wise Mind?
This is a way to use the Distract with ACCEPTS skill that is not Activities.
What is Contribute to others, Comparisons, other Emotions, Pushing Away, Thoughts, or Sensations?
This is Accumulate Positive Emotions.
What is doing things you enjoy and living according to your values?
This is what it means to stay Mindful in DEARMAN.
What is keeping the focus on your goal by ignoring attacks and redirecting attempts to derail the conversation?
This is what it means for a skill to "work" according to DBT.
What is improving your ability to cope with something? (Not eliminating the issue completely forever or taking away all distress)
This is what it's called when you balance two opposing things (acceptance and change, work and rest, self-denial and self-indulgence)?
What is a Dialect?
You do not have to like or approve of reality to use this skill.
What is Radical Acceptance?
This is what you do once you have created your Cope Ahead plan.
What is imagine the situation as vividly as possible, visualize yourself using the skills effectively, and use relaxation techniques afterward?
These are the people who are most likely to become lasting friends.
Who are people who share your values and interests?
This is an example of the DEAR part of a DEARMAN script to use when you are upset your roommate is not cleaning as much as you. (Not necessary to phrase in the form of a question)
An example that includes all elements:
D: I have cleaned [specific example, like 'the last four weeks'] and you have not.
E: I don't think this is fair and/or I feel resentful.
A: I would like you to clean [specific example, like 'every other cleaning day'].
R: I think this would be a much less tense environment if you would.
These are the judgments in, "This is going to be horrible! They always want to set us up to fail."
What are "going to be" (future telling), "horrible" (negative evaluation), "always" (extreme), and "want to" (mind reading). All four elements necessary - come on, it's for 500!
You may benefit from doing this if you're not sure it's worth it to use skills.
What is Pros and Cons?
These are the two conditions required to use Opposite Action.
What are, "Your emotion or its intensity does not fit the facts," and, "Acting on your emotion urge would be ineffective?"
This is why it is important to use Nonjudgmental Stance when using the DEARMAN skill.
Two answers acceptable: What is, "It leaves fewer opportunities for argument"? or What is, "It makes it easier for the other person to be calm and rational"?
These are the Four Responses to Any Problem.
What are solve the problem, change the way you think or feel about the problem, accept the problem, or continue to suffer?