True or False
True or False: violence rarely happens in teenage dating relationships.
False - Approximately one in five female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.
After a few weeks of dating, Monica demands her boyfriend show her how much he "loves" her by repeatedly cancelling plans with his friends.
Unhealthy- Monica's behavior is possessive. In a healthy relationship, partners do not try to control who their partner spends time with or what they do.
What are some characteristics of physical abuse?
Throwing objects at you.
Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
Pushing or pulling you.
What is consent?
Consent is someone giving their permission for all sexual contact that happens. Consent is agreeing and saying yes throughout the entire act. It's freely given, of a person's own will, and absent of pressure.
True or false: If your partner has strangled you in the past your risk of being killed by them is seven times higher.
True - strangulation is one of the most lethal forms of abuse because unconsciousness may occur within seconds and death within minutes.
True or false: LGBTQ youth do not experience abuse in their relationships.
False- Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgedner and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) youth experience dating abuse at the same rates and in similar ways as heterosexual couples do. In fact, one in three young people - straight, gay and everyone in between - experience some form of dating abuse.
After a week of dating, Rebecca's girlfriend initiates sexual contact which makes Rebecca uncomfortable. Rebecca tells her girlfriend she is not ready and they decide to take things slow.
Healthy - It is important for the relationship to move at a speed that feels enjoyable for each person.
What are some characteristics of emotional/verbal abuse?
True or False: If he/she doesn't say "no", it means "yes".
False- Sometimes a person can say no through body language by pushing away, not responding, moving around, looking down, or even not wanting to be alone with someone.
My friend is in an unhealthy relationship, what can I do to help him/her?
Do not ignore the signs - offer support.
Intervene when you suspect a friend is being abused, and understand these conversations need to continue over time.
Look for local resources and know who to turn to if you need help supporting your friend.
True or false: If violence occurs once in a dating relationship, it is likely to happen again.
True - It is rare for someone to hit or otherwise abuse their partner once and never do it again.
Brad and Brittney have disagreements throughout their relationships.
Healthy - It is important to openly and respectfully discuss issues and confront disagreements in a non-judgmental manner.
Although, constant breaking up and making up may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
What are some characteristics of digital abuse?
What can consent sound like?
Consent can sounds like: "That is okay", "Absolutely", " I like that", "Of course!", "Yes",
Why do people stay in unhealthy/abusive relationships?
Conflicting emotions such as fear, believing abuse is normal, fear of being outed, embarrassment, low self-esteem, or love.
Pressure such as social/peer pressure, cultural/religious reasons, or pregnancy/parenting.
Reliance on the abusive partner: lack of money, nowhere to go, or disability
True or false- girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence.
True - Almost three times higher than the national average.
Louie continually tells his boyfriend that he is worthless, stupid, and lucky to be in a relationship.
Unhealthy, belittling is when someone does and says things to make their partner feel bad about themselves.
What are some characteristics of stalking?
You are being stalked when a person repeatedly watches, follows or harasses you, making you feel afraid or unsafe. A stalker can be someone you know, a past partner or a stranger.
Here are some examples of what a stalker may do:
Show up at your home or place of work unannounced or uninvited.
Send you unwanted text messages, letters, emails and voicemails.
Leave unwanted items, gifts or flowers.
Constantly call you and hang up.
Use social networking sites and technology to track you.
Spread rumors about you via the internet or word of mouth.
What does not providing consent sound like?
"I'm not ready", "Not tonight", "I'm not sure", "I guess so", "Stop", "No", Silence
Why do people abuse?
People abuse their partners because they believe they have the right to control the person they're dating. Maybe the abusive partner thinks they know best. Maybe they believe that they should be in charge in the relationships. Maybe they think unequal relationships are ideal.
Abuse is a learned behavior.
True or false: teens frequently will tell someone about dating violence when it happens to them.
False - If teens disclose to anyone, it's likely a friend or peer. Teens are usually reluctant to disclose they are victims of abuse to adults.
After an argument with her boyfriend, Mary shows up at his house and threatens to cause a scene if he doesn't go outside to talk to her.
Unhealthy, volatility is when someone has a really strong, unpredictable reaction that makes you feel scared, confused, or intimidated.
What are some characteristics of a healthy relationship?
Mutual respect, trust, equality, kindness, taking responsibility, healthy conflict, fun etc.
My partner provided consent last time, do I need to continue to ask for consent every time we do something?
Communication is important in any relationship. It is necessary and healthy to maintain an ongoing conversation that continually includes consent. Just because your partner is okay with one thing today, doesn't mean they will be okay with it tomorrow.
And when in doubt, it is important to pay attention to non verbal cues. Ask yourself, do they look uncomfortable? Are they tense? What message is their face giving? How do I know they are okay with this? Did I ask them if they were ok? Don't assume, ask questions!
What obstacles might prevent LGBTQ youth from getting help when in an abusive relationships?
Shame or embarrassment
Fear of not being believed or taken seriously.
Fear of retaliation, harassment, rejection or bullying.
Good intentions - as part of the LGBTQ community, a person might fear that disclosing abuse will make everyone look bad.
Less legal protection
Loss of community