Boundaries
Your friend, Emma, loves communicating her affection for people through physical touch and hugs; however, you feel uncomfortable with hugging people, and do not like when she tries to hug you. What is one way you can set a boundary?
I appreciate your friendship, but I do not like to hug. If you continue to hug me, then I will have to ______.
You notice that your friend, Tommy, does not get to eat lunch anymore because he's too busy doing Jeremy's homework. You come to learn that Jeremy has been threatening to beat up Tommy if Tommy does not do his homework. Is this an example of coercion?
Yes, Jeremy is threatening physical violence so that Tommy does him favors.
What are three ways you can say no to someone?
No thanks, I'm not doing that, I don't want to, I'm okay, maybe another time, No, I'd rather not, etc.
Sofia's mom, Angela, is always making comments about the way Sofia looks. Sofia does not appreciate this, and tries to set a boundary by saying "please stop making those comments towards me." Is this an effective example of a boundary—why or why not?
No, this is not an effective example of a boundary because there is no if/then statement.
If a boss restricts their employee's income at work so that the employee does them favors outside of work, is this an example of coercion?
Yes.
What are some things you can do after saying no to someone to feel more comfortable in your refusal?
Suggest an alternative activity, diffuse the situation with humor, give a reason, etc.
How do you establish a successful boundary?
Anthony loves to hang out with his friend, Mark. Whenever Mark does not want to hang out, Anthony threatens to stop being his friend and cry. Is this an example of coercion?
Yes.
Stacy wants to go to the forest, but Rachel is too afraid. Rachel says "no," but Stacy insists. When Stacy starts crying about Rachel's decision, Rachel gives in, and says, "okay, but only this one time." Is this an effective example of refusal skills?
No. Rachel gave in and failed to assert her refusal.