Domestic violence
What is domestic violence?
When 2 grown ups that live together or are in a relationship hurt each other with their bodies, words, and actions. One grown up is trying to have power over the other. Can sound and look similar to bullying.
What is physical abuse?
Repeatedly using bodies or physical force in intimidate someone into doing something. This could be one adult slapping or hurting the other during fights
What can you do if domestic violence happened in your family or home?
Tell a safe grown up- who would that be for you?
What kind of therapy are we doing?
Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy- the type of therapy most proven to help children who have experienced or witnessed trauma
Why don't children often tell about domestic violence?
Fear, embarrassment, sadness, they think it is normal since it is what happens at their home, being told to not tell about it
What is emotional abuse?
Threats/yelling/hurting each other with words/ making children say or do mean things to the other grown up, stalking
Is domestic violence ever a kid's fault?
No- adults are responsible for their own bodies and choices. Even if a kid made a mistake, that is not an excuse for adults to fight physically and emotionally
What is trauma?
A distressing experience that someone's brain does not know how to process that usually leaves them with big feelings of fear, confusion, hurt, not feeling safe, anger, and sadness.
How often does domestic violence happen?
What is sexual abuse?
When someone tries to give another person private part touches without the other's permission
What can you do to stay safe if grown ups are fighting in your home?
Find a safe place to hide, call 911, contact another safe trusted adult outside the home, go get a neighbor
What are coping skills?
Things we can do that help us feel better if we have big feelings/something reminds us of our trauma.
Deep breathing, fidgets, moving your body, talking to a safe person, listening to music or playing a game
How do some kids feel that have witnessed domestic violence?
Scared of making people angry or upset, jumpy or easily to startle them, sad, fearful, worried, confused
What is financial abuse?
One partner controlling all the money if they share financial resources and making the other partner depend on them for needs to be met
Do all arguments turn into domestic violence?
No! Conflict happens in all relationships. All parents and grown ups may disagree at times. When grown ups use their words and bodies to intimidate or threaten another grown up when they're disagreeing on something, that is DV
What is PTSD?
Post traumatic stress disorder- when someone's brain is struggling after witnessing trauma with things like nightmares, avoidance of anything that reminds them of the trauma, high anxiety, flashbacks, etc. It can get a lot better and even go away with therapy!
What does it mean that domestic violence is a cycle?
It goes through phases that often happen over and over again-after an incident of abuse like an intense fight, the partner that started it will apologize and promise to change, maybe change for a little bit, and then go right back to being abusive.
What types of abuse did you witness?
Thank you for sharing!
What do healthy disagreements look like?
No threats or violence, no name calling or mean words, trying to work together to come up with a way to fix the problem, apologizing if someone says something mean on accident
Why do we have to talk about hard things in therapy?
Addressing it makes the feelings around it eventually go away. It is hard to do, but the more trauma is avoided, the worse the thoughts and feelings about it get long term.