T
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi
What is a potato’s favorite television program?
M*A*S*H
Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert?
Because he will gobble, gobble it up
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
Quack, quack!
What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?
They know what it’s like to be stuffed and crammed into small spaces.
AOLRCDL ESGENR
collard greens
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken
It seems like every Thanksgiving I end up eating leftovers for weeks afterward. Not this year though...
I’m quitting cold turkey.
What did the cranberry sauce say to the butter who kept telling jokes?
You’re on a roll.
Why did the farmer use a steam roller to run over his potato crop?
Because he wanted to grow mashed potatoes
What did the small turkey say to the large turkey when he was being bullied?
“Peck” on someone your own size.
CDMAREE RONC
creamed corn
Why do turkeys make great musicians?
They have their own drumsticks.
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G
What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky
What did the sailor use to travel home for Thanksgiving dinner?
A gravy boat
What do you get when you cross-breed a turkey with a banjo?
A bird that can pluck itself
DMSHAE OTSOEATP
mashed potatoes
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Can you season the turkey for me?
Sorry, I can’t because there’s no thyme!
Monty Hall was going turkey hunting on Thanksgiving Day when he came upon a turkey. What did the turkey say to Monty Hall?
“Let’s make a deal!”
Did you hear someone was suspected of deflating a Thanksgiving balloon before the Macy’s parade?
Tom Brady was a suspect until it was determined that there was no foul play. Tom Brady was a suspect until it was determined that there was no foul play.
ESSULRBS UORSSPT
Brussels sprouts
What do you get when you cross a shoemaker with an apple?
Apple cobbler
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes?
Squash or mashed potatoes
How do you make the richest Thanksgiving stew?
Add 24 “carats”
Georgeann had a parrot named Petey who was very talkative. The only problem was Petey swore like a sailor. Georgeann was having her parents over for Thanksgiving dinner the next day, so she needed to train Petey quickly not to swear. Petey began cursing terribly, so Georgeann put him in the freezer for 30 seconds as punishment. Then she opened the freezer door and took out the parrot along with the turkey. Georgeann then asked, “Have you learned your lesson about cursing?” Petey the parrot took one look at the frozen dead turkey and said...
“I sure have. But I have one question: What did the turkey do?"
ANRRBYCRE UAcSCE
cranberry sauce