TURKEY TROUBLES
This bird is famously pardoned by the President every year, unlike your fridge leftovers that get no mercy.
What is the turkey?
This dish is 30% bread, 30% herbs, and 40% family arguments.
What is stuffing?
The question someone ALWAYS asks that derails the entire dinner into chaos.
What is anything about politics?
The correct number of days you’ll eat turkey sandwiches before you break.
What is 1?
The year the first Thanksgiving took place, also known as the year nobody brought store-bought rolls because stores did not exist.
What is 1621?
This is what happens to most people after Thanksgiving dinner: the body's legally mandated shutdown sequence.
What is a food coma?
The casserole that always shows up uninvited and yet somehow gets eaten.
What is green bean casserole?
The relative who deep-fries the turkey in the driveway like it’s a NASCAR tailgate.
Who is your uncle?
What you call the fridge container you open that makes you question your will to live.
What is the gravy tub?
This group attended the first Thanksgiving and politely pretended the Pilgrims’ cooking wasn’t terrible.
Who are the Wampanoag?
Term for the sad, shredded bits you try to carve when you have no business operating a knife.
What is turkey carnage?
This potato dish is responsible for 87% of Thanksgiving fights over who makes it better.
What are mashed potatoes?
The kid who only eats dinner rolls and claims they are “full.”
Who is every kid ever?
The fate of the cranberry sauce.
What is left untouched for 8 days then thrown away?
Contrary to elementary school plays, the Pilgrims did not wear these fashion-forward accessories.
What are giant buckle hats?
The number one reason someone yells, “Is the turkey supposed to be THAT color?!
What is not thawing it first?
The side dish that looks like dessert, tastes like dessert, and yet is somehow still a "vegetable."
What is sweet potato casserole with marshmallows?
The family member who brings a “new recipe” every year that everyone politely avoids like it’s radioactive.
Who is your experimental aunt?
he thing you promise every year you’ll “use for meal prep,” but never do.
What is the leftover turkey carcass for soup?
This food was definitely NOT served at the first Thanksgiving, despite being 80% of modern Thanksgiving plates.
What is pumpkin pie?
The reason your turkey is still raw after 6 hours in the oven.
What is you never turned the oven on?
his dish is 90% butter, 10% vegetable, and 100% the reason no one fits into their pants by dessert.
What is cornbread?
This person says “I’m not hungry” all day, then eats half the pie when no one is looking.
Who is Dad
The thing that gets put in the fridge “just in case,” even though every human in the house knows it will never be eaten.
What is the turkey neck?
The real first Thanksgiving food that would ruin modern dinner vibes instantly.
What is boiled eel?