The Kitchen Chronicles
Average lifespan of a mystery Tupperware before it's considered hazardous material:
A) 2 days
B) 5 days
C) 14 days
D) 1 month
Answer: B) 5 days
What people actually do when the host says “Feel free to jump in at any time”:
A) Ask questions
B) Share ideas
C) Nodding enthusiastically
D) Stay completely silent
Answer: D) Stay completely silent
Seconds spent "pre-checking" your reflection before turning your Zoom camera on:
A) 0 seconds
B) 10 seconds
C) 50 seconds
D) 30 seconds
Answer: B) Leftovers
1. The universal office morning ritual:
A) Checking emails
B) Saying hi to coworkers
C) Coffee first
D) Staring blankly at the screen
Answer: C) Coffee first
When someone says “Let’s take a step back,” what they really mean is:
A) We’re overthinking this
B) I’m lost
C) This is going nowhere
D) We need to start over
Answer: B) I’m lost
The most classic, no‑surprises lunch someone brings from home:
A) Leftover Thai
B) Protein shake
C) Turkey sandwich
D) Trail Mix
Answer: C) Turkey sandwich
What “Let’s touch base” actually means:
A) Quick sync
B) Long conversation
C) No plan
D) A delaying tactic
Answer: D) A delaying tactic
The true villain of WFH productivity:
A) TV
B) Chores
C) The couch
D) Snacks
Answer: C) The couch (also known as "the nap trap")
Real reason people take the long way to their desk:
A) Getting their steps in
B) Scouting for Snacks
C) Dodging someone
D) Casual greetings
Answer: C) Dodging someone
When someone says “We need to future‑proof this,” what they really mean is:
A) Plan ahead
B) Add features
C) Panic internally
D) We have no idea what's coming
Answer: D) We have no idea what's coming
The true fate of the “Do Not Touch” labeled leftovers:
A) Ignored completely
B) Eaten accidentally
C) Eaten “accidentally on purpose”
D) Remain untouched until they begin their second life
Answer: D) Remain untouched until they begin their second life
The most common reaction to a meeting that "could have been an email":
A) Complaining to a work bestie
B) A deep sigh
C) Shift, Delete, Enter
D) Taking a nap
Answer: B) A deep sigh
The unofficial greeting of every video call:
A) “You’re muted.”
B) “Can you see my screen?”
C) “Let’s wait one more minute.”
D) “Is this the right link?”
Answer: A) “You’re muted.”
The most common "average" response to "How was your weekend?":
A) "Busy"
B) "Too-Short"
C) "I don't remember"
D) "Productive"
Answer: B) “Too short”
Most overused corporate buzzword:
A) Synergy
B) Leverage
C) Innovation
D) Alignment
Answer: C) Innovation
Most typical time people wander into the breakroom hunting for snacks:
A) 1:30 PM
B) 2:30 PM
C) 4:00 PM
D) 3:00 PM
Answer: B) 2:30 PM
The #1 thing people do during long meetings:
A) Pay attention
B) Check email
C) Scroll on their phone
D) Day Dream
Answer: B) Check email
The most common lunch during WFH:
A) Delivery
B) Leftovers
C) Frozen meals
D) “Oops, I forgot to eat.”
Answer: B) Leftovers
The most "average" excuse for being 5 minutes late to a Monday Morning meeting:
A) Overslept
B) Traffic
C) Wasn't this one cancelled
D) Lost track of time
Answer: B) Traffic
The buzzword used when no real metrics exist:
A) KPI
B) Leverage
C) Impactful
D) Value‑add
Answer: C) Impactful
Average time spent pretending to enjoy small talk while the microwave spins:
A) 30 seconds
B) 2 minutes
C) 1 minute
D) Silence only
Answer: A) 30 seconds
The most universally ignored email:
A) Company newsletters
B) “Reply All by accident” threads
C) Mandatory training reminders
D) Meeting notes
Answer: A) Company newsletters
Number one reason for turning the camera off:
A) Eating
B) Multitasking
C) Background mess
D) Did I look at myself in the mirror today?
Answer: C) Background mess
Why employees really step outside in the afternoon:
A) Vitamin D
B) Getting steps in
C) Fresh air
D) Trying to walk off the food coma
Answer: D) Trying to walk off the food coma
The phrase that kills enthusiasm instantly:
A) “Let's align”
B) “Action items”
C) “Budget constraints”
D) “Mandatory training”
Answer: C) “Budget constraints”