What Is...
What is grief?
Grief is the feelings, thoughts and behaviors (our actions and reactions) we have when someone dies.
True or False: All living things eventually die?
True! Death is natural and everything that lives eventually dies. For example, plants die, animals die, and people die.
Name 3 feelings kids may have, when someone close to them dies?
Kids may experience many different feelings when someone dies, such as: sad, angry, guilty, worried, confused, embarrassed and relieved.
Name three things that can cause people to die?
Many things can cause people to die, like they get very sick, someone else hurts them, they get into a bad accident, they die from old age, etc.
After someone I loved dies, I feel shocked and numb, meaning I don't feel anything at all. Is this grief?
Yes, feeling shocked and being numb is one way that grief can look.
What is a funeral?
A funeral is when family and friends come together to say goodbye to the person who died, and to remember or celebrate the good things about the dead person. Some people might have a wake or a repass after the funeral.
True or False: It is normal to have a hard time believing a person is really dead.
True! People may have a hard time believing a person is really dead, because it is hard to accept a person is gone forever.
Why do kids sometimes hide their sad feelings?
Kids may hide their feelings because they don't want other people to know how they feel. It is important for kids to find at least one person they can talk to about their true feelings.
Is death contagious?
After someone I loved dies, I feel angry and get frustrated more easily. Is this grief?
Yes, feeling anger and frustration can be part of our grief.
What is a cemetery?
A cemetery is a place where dead people are buried.
True or False: people sometimes blame themselves for the death?
True! People may feel like the death was their fault. They may think their thoughts, words, or wishes made that person die. But our thoughts, words and wishes cannot make someone die.
What is a safe way to handle angry feelings?
Safe anger means expressing your anger in a way that does not hurt you or anybody else. Some safe ways to express your anger are: talking to an adult, punching a pillow, writing or drawing about your feelings, helping your body feel calm and relaxed.
If someone in your family dies, does that mean that you will die soon, too?
No. Many people live a long time and die when they are old.
After someone I loved dies, I feel sad and I want to cry a lot. Is this grief?
Yes, feeling sadness and wanting to cry after someone we love dies, is grief.
What is a memory?
A memory is something you remember about the person who died, or something you did with them. It can be important to write, draw or share some memories of the person who died, so you can always remember them.
True or False: when someone close to you dies, you will feel sad forever.
False! When someone close to you dies, sad feelings come and go. There will be times when you feel sad and times when you feel happy. There are things you can do to help yourself feel better when you have sad times.
Is it normal to feel shocked or numb when someone dies?
Yes! Many people are in shock when someone dies, and they feel numb, which means they feel nothing at all. It can take some time for people to be ready to feel the pain and sadness of grief.
Is a kid that gets in trouble a lot to blame for the death of their loved one?
No! Death does not happen because of bad behavior or because of anything a kid
did.
After someone I loved dies, I don't want to be around my friends or family as much, and I worry that they don't understand how I feel. Is this grief?
Yes, wanting to be alone and feeling like no one understands how we're feeling can be part of our grief. We may not always be ready to share our feelings, but when we are, it's important to have someone we trust that we can talk to.
What is cremation?
Cremation is when a dead body is burned at a very high heat and turned into ashes. Being cremated may seem weird, scary or gross but the person who died cannot feel anything, and so it does not hurt them. Cremation can be an alternative to being buried in a cemetery. You can still have a funeral if someone is cremated.
True or False: most people don't want to talk about death.
True! It can be hard to talk about death. But the more we talk about it, the easier it gets.
What can you do to feel better when you are upset?
You can do lots of different things! For example, talking to someone, writing or drawing your feelings, listening to music, looking at old pictures, getting a hug from an adult you love, etc.
If a kid tries hard enough or has good enough behavior, can they bring their dead loved one back alive?
No, once someone is dead, they stay dead and there is nothing a kid or an adult can do to bring the person back alive.
After someone I loved died, I was sad and confused. It has been a few months since then, and I still feel confused, sad and sometimes I even feel angry at them. Is this grief?
Yes, this is still grief. As we get older and grow and change, our grief will change too. We might feel it less often, but it is still there, and it may even look different.