Intentions or Actions
You compliment a friend’s outfit but only because you want them to like you back
Intention
You talk about someone behind their back
Gossip
A friend asks for help but you’re annoyed
Pause and respond kindly
A classmate copies homework and brags about it
Dishonesty
You get annoyed when a sibling asks for help with chores: Apply the 'awareness' step
Notice your frustration
You ignore a classmate asking for help because you’re in a hurry
Action
You constantly interrupt people in group discussions
Impatience
A friend vents but you know it’s gossip
Avoid spreading it or give a neutral response
Someone complains about others but never checks themselves
Hypocrisy
You gossip about friends without realizing it: Apply the 'action' step
Decide to stop gossiping, speak positively
You know your friend is struggling on a group project, but you purposefully give them the wrong advice so your part looks better
Action
You only help others when it benefits you socially or academically
Self-interest
Your friend wants to cheat on an assignment
Advise them against it, help them do it honestly
You give advice to a friend, but your hidden goal is to make them depend on you so you look indispensable
Manipulation
You constantly interrupt others in group discussions: Apply the 'replacement' step
Replace interrupting with listening and waiting your turn
You politely correct someone in front of others, but internally feel frustrated and hope they fail next time
Intention
You complete tasks correctly but complain loudly every step of the way
Negativity
Someone is spreading rumors about a peer
Politely redirect conversation, don’t join in
Someone refuses to apologize because they think they are always right
Pride
You judge classmates silently when they struggle: Apply the 'practice' step
Practice being supportive repeatedly, avoid internal judgment
You know someone is being excluded or bullied; you could intervene, but that might make you unpopular. You choose to stay silent
Both
You “support” a peer’s idea publicly but subtly sabotage it so your idea seems better
Manipulation or Pride
You’re responsible for organizing a community activity. A last-minute problem threatens the plan, and your first instinct is to blame others.
Take responsibility, stay calm, find a solution, and encourage others
You often snap or get frustrated when someone asks for help repeatedly, even if it’s reasonable.
Impatience
You ignore a classmate asking for help because you’re in a hurry: Apply the 5 steps learned
Awareness: notice feelings, Action: choose to help sincerely, Replacement: replace pride with genuine care, Practice: repeat helping without ego, Ikhlas: ensure intention is purely for good