Triggers and Emotions
True or false: Anger is always a negative emotion
False: anger can be justified and sometimes even expected. It is what we do with it :)
"If I mess this up, my entire life is ruined"
catastrophisizing
You are having a terrible day and someone makes a rude comment. What is one thing you could do before responding?
Take a big deep breathe, dispute the thought, walk away
This technique involves slowing breathing in and out to calm your nervous system
what is Deep Breathing
A person, situation, memory, thought, or feeling that sets off a strong emotional reaction would be called this.
Trigger
"She didn't text me back, so obviously she is mad at me"
What is mindreading/jumping to conclusions
Someone is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do. Demonstrate one way to set a boundary
"I do not feel comfortable with this, if you keep asking me I will leave the room"
Name one healthy coping skill you can use when you are angry
Take 5, walk away, exercising, journaling, breathing, grounding, etc.
"You NEVER listen to me!" is an example of what type of communication: assertive, passive, or aggressive
Aggressive
What are 3 physical signs that someone might notice when becoming angry or anxious.
Shaking, feeling hot, tense muscles, increased heart rate/breathing, sweating, etc.
"I failed at this so I am a complete failure"
Filtering/labeling all or nothing
You realize halfway through an arguement you are wrong. What could you say?
"I'm sorry. I may have interpreted the situation differently and I was wrong. I apologize. Let's take a few minutes to cool off and revisit this"
This grounding technique asks you to identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
5-4-3-2-1
Turn this into an assertive statement: " You don't care about anything I say"
Example: "I feel ignored when I am speaking and don't get a good response"
What is the difference between an emotion and behavior
Emotions are internal responses; behavior is what we do in response to them
Challenge this thought: "Nobody respects me"
Responses should look for evidence, exceptions, or more balanced interpretations
You apologized for something you did, but the other person isn't ready to forgive you. What is within your control?
Your response, your behavior, how you cope, etc.
Give an example of a coping mechanisms that might help in the short term, but may cause problems if it becomes your only coping strategy
avoidance, sleeping, distracting, isolating, etc.
What is the difference between hearing someone and actively listening to them?
Active listening involves intentionally attending, understanding, clarifying, etc.
Someone says: " They made me angry, I ha no choice but to yell". What part of this statement could be challenged?
Feeling angry does not eliminate choice over the behavior that follows
Someone cuts you off in traffic. Give two different interpretations of their behavior that don't assume malicious intent
They didn't see you, distracted, emergency, simple mistake
You are experiencing an intense emotion and your first impulse would probably make the situation worse. Walk us through what you would do.
Notice, pause, reflect, and act
You are extremely angry and know that talking right now will probably make things worse. Name three things you could do before returning to the conversation.
Multiple acceptable responses
Take 5, breathe, and DEARMAN
Your partner says something you disagree with. Demonstrate a response that validates their feelings without agreeing with them.
" I can understand why you would feel that way, even though I see the situation differently."