FEELINGS DETECTIVE
What's the difference between feeling sad and feeling depressed?
Sadness is temporary and situational; depression is persistent, affects daily functioning, and feels heavier/harder to shake
Your dad's a therapist but struggles with his own family dynamics. What's the word for that contradiction?
Cognitive dissonance, or "easier to see others' issues than your own"
Name one thing you can do with your hands when you're feeling stressed.
Squeeze ice, play with fidget, draw, text a friend, pet an animal
You're really close with your sister. What does she give you that you can't get anywhere else?
Shared understanding of family situation, witnesses the same reality, no judgment, safety, loyalty
You survived something big in life What does that say about your survival instinct?
Stronger than you knew, part of you wanted to live, resilient, fighter
You feel angry at your stepmom but guilty about feeling angry. What's happening when your feelings have feelings?
Secondary emotions - guilt/shame about the "real" feeling underneath; emotional layering
When you overhear your stepmom talking about you in your own house, what boundary is being violated?
Privacy, respect, psychological safety, right to feel secure in your home
When difficult emotions feel overwhelming, what's your brain trying to protect you from?
Pain, feeling out of control, past trauma, vulnerability, being hurt again
Name one quality that makes someone a good friend.
Trustworthy, loyal, fun, good listener, supportive
You came to therapy alone without mom this week. What barrier did you overcome to do that?
Fear, avoidance, anxiety about being vulnerable, trusting the process/therapist
When someone keeps screaming at you, what happens to your nervous system over time, even when they're not yelling?
always on alert, hard to relax, anticipating conflict, feeling unsafe in your own body
Your sister stopped going to dad's entirely. Why might it feel like MORE pressure on you now?
Guilt about leaving dad alone, feeling responsible for maintaining the relationship, losing an ally at dad's house, comparison
What's the difference between avoiding feelings forever vs. taking a break when you're overwhelmed?
Taking a break means you'll come back to it when ready; avoiding means never dealing with it and it builds up
A friend keeps sharing your secrets. What kind of boundary might you need?
Stop sharing personal things, talk to them about it, distance yourself
You're still showing up to volleyball, school, and switching houses despite everything. Where does that strength come from?
Love for sister/mom, discipline, not wanting to let team down, autopilot, small hope things could improve
You love your dad but resent how he handles things. How can both be true without you being a "bad person"?
Love and anger can coexist; holding people accountable IS loving; you can be hurt by someone and still care about them
Your dad is making changes (store trip, decorating room) after mom spoke up. What's tricky about improvements that only happen because someone demanded them?
Questions if he'd change on his own, hard to trust it's genuine, feels reactive not proactive, wondering if it'll last
What would need to be different for you to choose a different way to handle that level of pain next time?
Knowing someone cares, having tools that actually work, believing it could get better, feeling less trapped, access to support
Your close friend asks why you seem sad lately. Is it okay to say "I'm not ready to talk about it yet"?
YES - you get to choose when/what to share
Your mom set boundaries with your dad for you. What strength does it take to ACCEPT help instead of trying to handle everything alone?
Recognizing you can't do it all, trusting someone has your back, letting go of control, being vulnerable
You love someone but they're doing things that hurt you. What's the word for having two opposite feelings at once?
Ambivalence or mixed feelings
Sometimes parents often put their kids in positions where the kid has to manage the parent's feelings. Give an example of when that might be happening with your dad.
Feeling guilty for preferring mom's house, having to protect his feelings about stepmom, him being "receptive" only when confronted (insight into parentification/role reversal)
If you're having a really bad thought, name two people on your safety plan you could reach out to.
Mom, sister, therapist, crisis line, trusted friend
What's one way you can tell if someone is a safe person to open up to?
They don't judge, they've kept secrets before, they check on you, they don't gossip
If your younger self could see you right now - still here, still fighting, still trying - what would she think of you?
Proud, relieved you made it, amazed at your strength, grateful you didn't give up (powerful reframe for self-concept)