Coping Skills
Demonstrate cookie breathing.
Breathe in to smell the cookie, breathe out to blow on it to cool it down.
Why might kids feel scared to tell if someone touched their private parts when they shouldn't?
They might feel ashamed, embarrassed, scared to get in trouble, worried they won't be believed, or feel like they waited to long to tell. Sometimes the person that did the touching might've told the kid not to tell.
Is it ever okay for a kid to touch someone else's private parts?
No.
What should kids do if they are not feeling safe?
Tell a trusted adult what's going on.
Share a happy memory you have with your family.
Participant shares a happy memory.
Hitting, throwing things, touching private parts too much/touching other people's private parts, hiding under the table for too long.
What are some different types of trauma that kids experience?
Their bodies being hurt, seeing their parents hurt each other, seeing their parents do drugs, someone touching their private parts when they shouldn't, being made to watch or do sexual things, not being taken care of by their parents, being taken away from their parents.
True or false: Sometimes kids who have experienced trauma break the private part rules.
True.
What are some reasons kids are in foster care?
They parents could not keep them safe, their parents couldn't take care of them, they were hurt by their parents, parents were hurting each other or doing drugs/drinking too much.
What is your favorite pizza topping?
Participant shares their favorite pizza topping.
Peter is at recess and gets found during a game of hide-and-seek. He feels angry that he was found so soon and wants to throw a stick at the person who found him. What coping skill should he use, so he makes a good choice?
Peter could take a deep breath, walk away for a moment, practice the Turtle Technique, and remind himself that he is safe, it's just a game, and to make a better choice than hurting someone.
What is the difference between the owl brain and the barking dog brain?
The owl brain makes decisions and the barking dog keeps us safe from danger. When the dog barks, the owl flies away.
When are the times it's okay for an adult to touch a kid's private parts?
If the adult is a doctor or nurse making sure the kid's body is safe and healthy, or if the adult is helping the kid clean themselves in the shower.
Jack has a secret. When he was little, an adult touched his private parts when they shouldn't, and told him he would get in trouble if he told someone. What should he do?
Jack should tell an adult he trusts and feels safe with. Kids won't get in trouble for telling if someone hurt their body.
If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Participant shares somewhere they'd like to visit.
Is it better to keep feelings inside, or to talk about them?
Talk about them. When we try to hold them in, they will eventually explode, like when you try to hold a beach ball under the water.
If our barking dog is sensing danger and starts barking, how do we calm him down so the owl can fly back?
In order for our wise owl to return, we need to calm our dog, by calming our bodies. We can do this by taking deep breaths, moving our bodies, telling ourselves, "I'm safe", or talking to someone about how we feel.
Hunter broke a private part rule. He feels embarrassed and ashamed. When his mom asks him about it, he lies and says it didn't happen, because he feels bad about what he did. What should Hunter have done differently?
He should have told the truth. Even when we feel embarrassed or ashamed, we need to talk about our mistakes, so we can make sure they don't happen again.
If someone asks you for a hug and you're not feeling comfortable, what should you do?
You can say, "no thank you, I don't want a hug right now". Our bodies are our own and we must give permission to be touched in any way.
What is something you are very good at?
Participant shares something they are very good at.
Name two coping skills that can help you when you're feeling angry or sad.
Taking deep breaths, talking to someone, laying down and resting your body, taking space, holding a stuffed animal, petting a dog/cat, doing something you enjoy like playing legos, riding your bike, or thinking of a happy/funny memory.
Is it ever a kids fault when something scary happens to them?
No. Adults are supposed to keep kids safe--it's never okay for an adult to hurt a kid.
If a kid broke a private part rule, does that mean he'll do it again?
Not necessarily. If he works on his coping skills and makes safe choices, he will not break any more rules.
What does it mean to feel safe?
Feeling safe means that you feel comfortable and trust the people around you, you're not nervous or scared that you'll be hurt, and that you feel like you can be yourself.
Would you rather have a pet rat or a pet tarantula?
Participant share their preferred pet.