Coping Skills
Name 3 specific and unique ways that could help you cope with being irritated?
(ex: hang out in my room or my car for 10 minutes, call my friend Rose, do something physical like weight lifting)
What are 1 or 2 habits you have that negatively impact your self confidence?
(ex: Seek other people's validation to support decision making, rather than going with my gut; allowing others feelings about me affect how I feel about myself)
How do you show someone that you want to be their friend?
(Ex: Consistently trying to talk to them, complimenting them, asking questions to better understand them)
What's something a lot of people are hyped about but you hate?
(ex: Everyone loves American cheese, I think it's gross).
Tell me why!
True or False:
Trauma is an energetic experience and can be stored in the body, manifesting as chronic pain, GI problems, muscle tension, etc.
True! Our body remembers our trauma, even when we don't. That's why its important to integrate mental health and physical health for wellness.
For a 100 pt. BONUS:
Describe each of the four trauma responses
-Fight
-Flight
-Freeze
-Please
Name 2 unhealthy coping skills when dealing with feelings of depression?
(ex: isolating, self-harming)
(ex: I wear clothes that feel comfortable and flattering; I listen to motivational podcasts while I get ready in the morning; I wake up extremely early so I can just sit around for an hour because I like it)
Why do some people bully other people? What makes a bully act so cruel?
(Ex: "Hurt people hurt other people")
SCENARIO: You walk into your bedroom and suddenly you are transported back in time. You see a younger person who looks a lot like you. You are shocked when you realize it is you when you were _________ years old. The only way to return back to your current timeline is to give the younger version of you some advice that will change their life for the better. You tell them: "_____________________."
(Ex: I go back to 14 year old me and tell her she needs to focus on friends and horses, high school boys are not to be trusted - she'll be happier not being "boy crazy.")
SCENARIO: 2 kids are playing at their neighborhood park when a gang-related fight breaks out. There was yelling, screaming, cursing, and gunshots. Both the kids witnessed one person fall to the ground. Neighbors who also saw this called the police. As a result of the event, a crisis social worker recommended therapy for their trauma.
True or false: Both kids are now traumatized in the exact same way.
FALSE: While this event certainly could trigger both kids' "fight-or-flight" response, that doesn't mean both are traumatized in the same way. Whether or not they become traumatized depends on each kids' personal experiences, temperament, family dynamics, resources, resilience, coping skills, etc. One may experience acute stress which resolves in a few months, while the other may have been so traumatized they qualify for PTSD diagnosis and will need more services to help them to process this.
True or false:
Crying is a good coping skill.
True! Crying is our body's natural response to distress. Crying starts an important chain reaction in your body that helps reduce your emotional discomfort and process whatever made you cry. Avoiding crying can cause problems by interrupting your trauma/stress response cycle, resulting in emotional energy being stored until it bubbles up and explodes.
Are you someone who receives compliments well? Why or why not?
(ex: I didn't use to, I handle it better now. I was too insecure and didn't believe nice things other people said about me).
For 100 pt. BONUS:
What is a way to respond to someone who gives you a compliment that will help increase your self-esteem?
What is a good way to de-escalate a situation that has become a heated argument... Without sacrificing your boundaries?
[Ex: Stop listening to respond. Listen to understand! Repeat what it is that you think they're upset about to make sure you understand and validate their feelings. (you don't need to agree with someone to validate their feelings)]
For a 100 pt. BONUS - why do you think people have a hard time de-escalating?
SCENARIO: You become famous and an action figure/doll is made in your likeness; it comes with 2 accessories. What are they?
(Ex: A pet unicorn that I can ride and a block of Tillamook Medium Cheddar cheese).
What are some mental health symptoms that might be present which could indicate unresolved trauma?
Any of the following: Recurrent nightmares/night terrors similar to the trauma event, persistent negative beliefs (the world and all people are bad and unsafe), avoidance of triggers connected to the event, feeling disconnected from others, increased irritability, unwanted intrusive thoughts or memories of the event, inability to feel positive or hopeful, hypervigilance, being easily startled, feeling as though you're reliving the trauma (flashbacks, dissociating), forgetting the event or others things that may have happened around that time
What are 3 things you can do to help reduce feelings of panic or rescue yourself from a panic attack? (hint: some of them are physical)
(ex: temperature therapy - get into a cold shower for a minute, dip your face into ice cold water for 10 seconds; talk to someone you can trust about the thoughts and feelings you're having; put a weighted object on your stomach and take big deep breaths, breathing into your belly until you are able to move the object upwards with your belly; cry and watch a positive movie to distract yourself)
(ex: One of my professors from college; she was very encouraging and gave me good feedback on my work, encouraged me to pursue my PhD)
What is something you would really like to become good at doing? What has stopped you from getting there?
(Ex: I want to become really good at horseback riding. It's expensive and time consuming. I haven't been able to prioritize it yet in my life).
True or False: Trauma does not occur within the context of relationships unless someone is physically harming the other person.
False: Our brain interprets all of our experiences (physical and emotional) through the lens of "Safe" or "Unsafe." People who are abusive towards the other person in their relationship can (and often do) traumatize the other person. Some of these abusive behaviors that our brain often labels "unsafe" include: gaslighting, harshly critical, excessively punitive, verbally aggressive, confrontational, controlling, manipulative, cold/lacking empathy, unrealistic and high expectations, violent towards objects/animals, unpredictable, intimidation/threatening. Can you think of any?
Why do coping skills not work? Why does it feel like nothing helps when you feel badly?
(ex: Coping skills are learned behaviors. Riding a bike isn't easy until you practice and crash several times. You try different things with your body to be able to balance and control the bike until you find the movements that work. Coping skills have to be practiced often across a variety of situations, over and over, to become a useful tool. ALSO - don't give up after the first few minutes. Deep breathing is one of the most effective coping skills but many people won't use it because they give up too early. Allow 5-10 minutes to work on the breathing/coping skill before giving up).
What is something you could start doing tomorrow that would boost your self-confidence? What has stopped you from doing that thing before?
(ex: Prioritize exercise and moving my body on a daily basis, no matter how tired or lazy I feel)
What is a boundary, why does it matter, and how do you protect your boundaries?
(ex: a rule about how I want to be treated, I want to feel safe and respected in relationships, I do not spend time with or give energy to people or situations that violate my boundaries)
What is something you wish other people knew about you? What is something no one notices about you that you wish they did notice? What would be different if they knew this/noticed this?
(Ex: I don't like sharing my life story with just anyone, but I wish other people had a sense of what I've been through. I think people would judge me less and have more respect when I give advice or share my perspective).
What's the difference between Stress vs. Trauma?
Stress is an uncomfortable emotional experience related to a specific stressor and not all stressors are bad. For example, school can be a stressor and cause emotional distress, but it is ultimately beneficial. Trauma may result from chronic stress that becomes negative or a stressful event that causes such an extreme level of distress that it becomes traumatizing. The key is whether or not your brain perceived the stressful event as being a threat to your safety.