Feelings & Check-Ins
This is the first thing each family member shared during the family temperature check.
What is a feeling word?
The lowest level of communication where people avoid talking about issues.
What is silence or avoidance?
I-statements help reduce this during conversations.
What is blaming or attacking?
This is the first step in the repair process.
What is name the problem?
A trigger is something that causes a strong emotional reaction based on past experiences.
What is a trigger?
This weekly check-in question helps family members share something difficult that happened.
What is a stressor from the week?
Talking about everyday topics without sharing deeper feelings.
What is surface talk?
Complete the formula:
“I feel ___ when ___ because ___ I need ___.”
Feeling, situation/behavior, reason, need.
This step means admitting when you contributed to the problem.
What is taking responsibility?
Name one common reaction when someone is triggered.
Examples: yelling, shutting down, crying, leaving, arguing
his part of the check-in helps the family focus on positive experiences
What is one positive thing from the week?
This level includes sharing personal thoughts and opinions.
What is sharing opinions?
Turn this into an I-statement:“You never listen to me.”
“I feel frustrated when I feel unheard because my thoughts matter. I need you to listen.”
This step involves acknowledging another person’s emotions.
What is validating feelings?
This part of the trigger map identifies what someone really needs.
What is underlying needs?
Listening without interrupting and showing understanding is called this communication skill.
What is respectful listening?
This level involves expressing emotions honestly with family members.
What is sharing feelings?
This communication style focuses on expressing feelings while respecting others.
What is assertive communication?
The final repair step focuses on rebuilding connection
What is reconnecting?
Example: Being blamed → yelling → what might the person actually need?
Examples: understanding, calm conversation, fairness, listening
Name one thing that helps people feel supported in a family.
listening, encouragement, helping, spending time together, validation.
The highest level of the communication ladder where family members feel safe and connected.
What is honest connection?
Why are I-statements helpful during conflict?
• reduces defensiveness
• helps express feelings clearly
• encourages problem solving
Give one example of a repair statement.
• “I’m sorry I yelled.”
• “I understand why you felt hurt.”
• “Can we start over?”
Why is it helpful for families to know each other's triggers?
• respond with empathy
• avoid escalation
• improve communication