The Four Big Ideas
At the end of the day, in the dark of the night, awake and craving a drink, it has to be just you saying, "No, I will be bigger than this."
What is "Big Idea #1: YOU CAN GET OFF DRUGS OR ALCOHOL"?
The metaphor in Ch. 6 (Isolation & Self-Pity Lead to Self-Destruction) for spending time with people in pain that numb that pain with drugs, and being unable to see the truth of the dangerous environment for yourself. Often time, the person may judge these others thinking "I'm not as bad as they are!"
What is "The Bucket of Crabs"?
One way to demonstrate ______ is "having perspective and understanding that you aren't the only victim of your addiction."
What is "Empathy"?
It means being balanced and relaxed but alert and ready to move cat-quick, like a short stuff in the field waiting for the pitch to be delivered to the batter.... taking in the wonder and pride of staying sober, while looking at the next challenge is with excitement and joy.
What is "equipoise"?
Two ways family can assist, and not enable a loved one in recovery.
What are "Set Clear Boundaries" and "Enforce Accountability"?
"I need one hour of running a day. If I have that, the world can catch on fire and I can deal with it." It is also "the most important idea of the four".
What is Big Idea #4: "WE DO NOT HAVE TO USE TO DEAL WITH LIFE'S STRUGGLES"?
In the story of Jessica Whitley, she said "it's easy to stay sick when people take care of you"... The people in your life can be like a double-edge blade that can protect you or cut you. This Lifestyle comes with these 5 Rules to "help guide you" as you follow it. (2-Part answer question.)
What is Lifestyle #3: "Rely on Friends, Family, Teachers, and Peers"?
What are Rule 1: Don't Let People Enable You. Rule 2: Work the 5 Pillars 3: Learn from Others in Recovery 4: Be Patient 5: Give Back
1. Sucking it up and being HUMBLE. 2. Shutting up and letting how you live do the talking.
What are the 2 ways to earn back trust with our friends, family, teachers, and peers?
The "valuable lesson" Todd learned when he nearly missed Madison's birth due to still going to Ironman Malaysia to try and qualify for Kona, in 2002.
What is "If there's only one thing that gives meaning to your life you're still an addict"?
The nickname that Todd was given by his dad, which lead to the lesson, that 'words are worthless'.
What is "Mr. I'm Gonna"?
"If you don't face the emotional pain from your past and find holistic, positive ways to find peace with it, you really are just trading one destructive compulsion for another and setting yourself up to return to using when the next emotional tsunami hits. Pain will come; it's part of life."
What is Idea #3: "WE ARE NOT IMMUNE TO LIFE'S EMOTIONAL HARDSHIPS"?
"When you're trying to get sober, one of the most important things you can do is forgive yourself."
What is Lifestyle #1: "Substance Abuse Ruins Lives"?
When we get caught up in the "negativity and all that we don't have in our lives anymore", creating one of these will help us appreciate what we do have.
Evaluating these two things will help you find and maintain balance in any aspect of your sobriety.
What are 1) Degree: How much of your time and energy do you invest in any one pursuit? and 2) Intention: Is your goal to lose yourself in a pursuit or to have it be one part of a holistic picture for your life?
Any action or inaction that makes it easier for an addict to experience their consequences of their choices in addiction.
What is "enabling"?
"It's important when you're trying to walk the path to sobriety to remember that drugs or alcohol are something you do; they are not who you are."
What is Big Idea #2: "YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING WHEN YOU'RE NOT ON DRUGS"?
What you "believe about yourself... that you can handle whatever comes at you and triumph over the toughest obstacles", and the Lifestyle that teaches it.
What is "self-efficacy", from Lifestyle #5 Build Self-Esteem and Confidence?
This is a commonly taught practice in Buddhist meditation, which is a concept of choosing to focus love, compassion, and warmth on someone other than themselves, such as a parent, a child, or an animal. This practice builds ones ability to develop the same love for themselves, which enhances self-esteem.
What is "Metta or Lovingkindness"?
Social scientists call this closed loop that determines all you can know, and why isolation is so dangerous to a person experiencing emotional hurt, and is very different from healthy solitude. You see this "looped" thinking in religious and political circles that are extremely ideological.
What is "Epistemic Closure"?
The three gifts Racing for Recovery's unique family-based support groups provide the entire family for healing.
What is "an explanation, listening, and time"?
"Every person of value who I lost during my addiction is back in my life today."
What is Big Idea #2: "YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING WHEN YOU'RE NOT ON DRUGS"?
The three stages of Progression of Attitude that is happens when a person makes a successful transition to a post-addiction life, and the Lifestyle that teaches it.
What is Stage One: "I will get better", Stage Two: "I will become better", and Stage Three: "I will give myself what I need to be my best"; Lifestyle #10 Care For Your Personal, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Individuality?
Looking at hardships as personal challenges to overcome can build self-esteem, removing what kind of language can help us achieve incremental goals (short, medium, long-term) that we set for ourselves in sobriety?
What are "I should..., I might...., I tried...."
Many people in recovery think that the treasure of recovery is this brilliant new life with "the good job, the reconciled family, physical health, artistic expression, living somewhere you love", but it's not the real treasure is "_____________"
What is "becoming the person who can create a brilliant new life"?
Factors that most often contribute to a person's choice to abuse drugs often are directly linked to the family system. These are some of those factors.
What are "family violence, abandonment, divorce, suicide, a history of drug/alcohol use, emotional distance, and many more"?