putting the responsibility for your unhealthy actions on someone/something else. It is an excuse to justify your inappropriate actions
Blaming
a way to avoid accountability and allows you to think about the reason you did something rather than taking responsibility for your actions
Excuses
allows you to feel sorry for yourself or get others to feel sorry for you
If you focus on all the things that are wrong in your life, you take the focus off of the unhealthy behaviors you might be engaging in and take no responsibility for your role in your life choices
Pity Pot/Poor Me
trying to prove that something is right or ok when the truth is that it is unhealthy
Justifying
telling an intentionally false statement or being deceitful to get out of a situation. There are three types of lies.
Lying
you are doing things to get approval or praise rather than learning or changing behavior
Pet Me
Believing or taking for granted that something will be true without checking or asking questions. Thinking that you know what someone else is thinking or feeling without getting the facts.
Assuming
Being fake or pretending to act a certain way in order to gain something.
Phoniness
Making something seem smaller, insignificant or not as important as what it really is to avoid bigger consequences
Minimizing
When anger is used to control a situation or change the focus.
My Anger Controls Others
changing the meaning of something or shifting the focus to avoid addressing the real problem or question or to fit your needs
Redefining
This thinking error allows you to think that the rules don’t apply to you or that the rules should be different for you.
Uniqueness/I’m Special
Making other people look stupid or foolish in order to gain power and control
Making Fools Of
Telling facts from a story that are true, but arranged in a way that either excuse an unhealthy behavior or saying the facts but leaving out important details.
Fact Stacking
Avoiding giving out information, or only telling information to certain people, to avoid consequences or to gain power and control
Secretiveness
Giving unclear and ambiguous information in order to avoid consequences and avoid talking about the true facts.
Vagueness
Keeping track of what others do for personal gain
Keeping Score
Making little things seem bigger or more important than what they are instead of focusing on what is important, or the thinking that you are more important than those around you.
Grandiosity
Starting a fight between others or with yourself and a peer in order to gain power and control.
Let’s Fight
acting confused about something when in reality you know exactly what is going on or what you need to do, in order to avoid consequences or make others feel sorry for you.
Puzzlement
acting incapable so that others will do the work for you or so that people will feel sorry for you.
Acting Helpless
Having an overly positive attitude in order to cover up the truth or avoid being asked to talk about what is really going on.
You’re Ok, I’m OK
The attitude that something has to happen a certain way or not happen at all.
My Way or the Highway
Skipping over the real issue or question to talk about something more comfortable or easier.
Hop-over
Tell me what is a thinking-error/why do we use them
They allow us to continue to engage in unhealthy behaviors. They help us avoid taking accountability/responsibility for our behaviors.