who knows
What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
The lawn.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Footsteps
A man dies of old age on his 25 birthday. How is this possible?
He was born on February 29.
What would you find in the middle of Toronto?
The letter “o”
I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
A crane.
I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
Gloves.
When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?
Your dentist.
What is the difference between a woman’s G-spot and a quarter?
Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it.
I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone and cities with no buildings. What am I?
A map
What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A seatbelt.
What do you wrap your mouth around every morning and night that leaves you feeling refreshed?
Toothbrush.
What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.
A coconut.
What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A bed
I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?
Your nose.
What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Toothpaste
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
taste
I have three USA coins. They are not a quarter, dime or penny and they add up to 60 cents. What are the coins?
A 50 cent piece and 2 nickels.
What has 13 hearts, but no other organs?
A deck of cards
What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?
A fork.
What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?
An education.
Which Coen Brothers cult classic film features the principal character hanging out at a bowling alley all the time, but the character never actually bowls?
The Big Lebowski (1998)
In the NBA, how many men are on the basketball court for each team?
Five, not ten! you all should get this
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. Sometimes people lick my nuts. What am I?
Peanut butter.
I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?
A bowling ball.