The Triangle
These are the words that run through your mind. They are the things you tell yourself about what's going on around you.
Thoughts
What do we call the first thing that pops into our heads? These tend to happen so quickly that we often fail to notice them.
Automatic Thoughts
A person's inner ideas about themselves, others and the world.
Core Beliefs.
I am a good friend.
Opinion
Seeing things in "black or white" or "right or wrong". Nothing is ever in the middle. We're either friends or we are enemies. I'm either perfect or I'm a failure.
All or Nothing Allen (All or Nothing Thinking)
These come and go as different things happen to you. Sometimes you can experience many of these all in one day. Sometimes they can be uncomfortable and affect how you act.
Feelings
True or False: Oftentimes our automatic thoughts are negative and irrational.
True
True or False: Core beliefs are always accurate.
False
I watched tv instead of doing my homework.
Fact
Only noticing when bad stuff happens and if something good does happen acting like it doesn't mean anything. Always looking for the negative and ignoring the positive.
"Negative Nate" (mental filter/disqualifying the positive"
These are the things you do or the way you behave. Your thoughts and feelings have a big impact on this.
Actions
True or false: The first thought you have is always true.
False
True or false: You are born with your core beliefs.
False- they are learned and often develop in childhood or during stressful/traumatic periods of time.
No one likes me. I'm lazy and boring.
Opinion
When something bad happens we think it's going to happen over and over again and nothing is ever going to turn out ok. Taking one bad thing and applying it to everything else. "I failed this test, now I'll never pass this class and I'll have to drop out of school and then I won't get a job etc"
"Over and Over" Oliver (overgeneralization)
When a situation happens we have a thought. The thought then leads to a ______ which leads to a _____.
Feeling; Action/Behavior
Replacing negative thoughts with new rational and positive thoughts can improve our_____.
Mood/Feelings and Actions
Give an example of a core belief.
I'm a failure
No one likes me
Nothing ever goes right
I can't trust anyone
My teacher told me I did a great job on my project.
Fact
Blaming somebody else for problems and never really dealing with the problem. Sometime even blaming yourself for something that has nothing to do with you.
"Blaming Blake" (personalization)
Why is understanding the connection among your thoughts, feelings and actions important?
It can help us deal with our problems better or see a situation differently by coming up with new thoughts.
Identify the thought in the statement above and give an example of a more helpful and rational thought.
I hope my friend is ok, I will check on her.
Maybe she didn't see me.
Maybe she's mad at me, but maybe not. I don't know until I talk to her.
Maybe my friend is upset about something else.
Name 3 ways a harmful core belief can affect you
Difficulty trusting or getting along with others
Being jealous
Being overly confrontational
Depression/Anxiety
Substance abuse
Low Self-esteem
Poor coping mechanisms
My friend is frowning. They are obviously mad at me.
Both!
Always expecting the worse. Thinking people don't like you or we know what people are thinking. Assuming we know what's going to happen in the future.
"Psych Out" Sam (mind reading/fortune telling)