Empathy Basics
Empathy means noticing someone’s feelings and trying to ______ them.
Understand
Name one thing that shapes a person’s perspective.
→ Experiences / Stress / Personality / Energy level / What feels important to them
Name one behavior that shows empathetic listening.
→ Eye contact / Not interrupting / Nodding / Saying “I hear you”
Why is it important to notice your own feelings before responding to someone else?
So you don’t react impulsively.
So you don’t project your feelings onto them.
So you can respond calmly.
Because empathy is harder when you’re overwhelmed.
I have four corners but I’m not a room.
I cause friendly battles and dramatic doom.
If you miss, you’re out — no need to debate,
But if you’re in the top square, you control your fate.
What am I?
Four Square
Give one example of a NOT empathetic statement.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Just get over it.”
“That wouldn’t bother me.”
Finish the sentence: “Different feelings don’t mean someone is ______.”
Wrong
Listening is more than hearing words. It also means noticing ______.
Tone
Body language
Emotion
What isn’t being said
Changes in voice
During conflict, why is it powerful to pause before responding?
It slows escalation.
It gives your brain time to think.
It prevents saying something hurtful.
It shifts you from reacting to responding.
I light up quietly
When something feels true.
You don’t have to speak—
I’ll glow for you.
What am I?
Glow Stick
Name one thing empathy is NOT about.
→ Fixing the problem / Dismissing feelings / Proving someone wrong
Why shouldn’t we assume we know what someone is feeling?
We don’t see the full picture
Everyone’s experience is unique
Perspective is shaped by personal factors
What is the FIRST thing to do during conflict?
→ Pause before reacting
Name 3 coping skills you could use to regulate your emotions before reacting. (Ten bonus points if you can name coping skills that require no extra tools/items or people)
Deep breathing, box breath, wall push-ups, distractions (TV, toys, playing, etc.), take a walk, get a drink of water, fidgeting (pop-its, spinners, piano fingers, etc.)...
I’m a race with no track,
A treasure with no chest.
If you grab me and make it back,
Your team feels the best.
What am I?
Capture the flag
Someone says, “That wouldn’t bother me.” Why is that not empathy? What message might the other person hear?
It dismisses their feelings.
It compares instead of understands.
The other person might hear, “Your feelings don’t make sense.”
It makes the person feel misunderstood or judged.
Two students lose a game. One laughs, one gets angry. Why might they have different reactions?
One may care more about winning.
One may have had a hard day already.
One may feel embarrassed.
They have different personalities.
What can happen when feelings are ignored?
Conflict grows.
Resentment builds.
People shut down.
Arguments get bigger.
Someone reacts strongly to something small. What are two possible invisible reasons behind that reaction?
They’ve had a hard day.
Something bigger happened earlier.
It connects to a past experience.
They feel embarrassed.
They feel left out.
They’re overwhelmed.
I’m groovy and slimy,
Catchy and loud.
You might roll your eyes—
But you still made art proud.
I move slow,
But my beat won’t fail.
Art time anthem—
Disco ______.
DISCO SNAILS
A friend says they’re “fine,” but looks tense and withdrawn. Give two possible explanations and one empathetic response.
Possible explanations:
They don’t feel safe sharing.
They’re embarrassed.
Something happened at home.
They don’t want attention.
They’re overwhelmed.
Empathetic response:
“You seem a little stressed — I’m here if you want to talk.”
“If something’s bothering you, I’m here.”
“I don’t want to assume, but you seem quieter than usual.”
List three other explanations for what could be happening when you assume someone is mad at you.
They’re tired.
Something happened at home.
They’re stressed.
They didn’t see the message.
They’re anxious.
Give one empathetic thought during conflict.
“They might be frustrated too.”
“We’re both trying to be heard.”
“We can work this out.”
Empathy is hardest when you feel hurt, embarrassed, or angry yourself- What has to happen inside you before empathy can happen?
You have to regulate first.
You have to calm your nervous system.
You need to feel safe.
You must pause before reacting.
You have to separate your feelings from theirs.
You have to shift from “defend” to “understand.”
I ruled Silent Ball
And Four Square too…
But one strong gust said,
“Bye-bye to you.”
What am I?
The big blue ball :(