A
Where does today come before yesterday?
The dictionary
If you’re running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?
Second place
What kind of band never plays music?
A rubber band
What can’t be put in a saucepan?
Its lid.
Two fathers and two sons are in a car yet there are only three people in the car. How is this possible?
They are a grandfather, father, and son.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
I’m found in socks, scarves and mittens; and often in the paws of playful kittens. What am I?
Yarn
What kind of coat is best put on wet?
A coat of paint
A is B's father but B isn't A's son. How?
B is A's daughter
If two’s a company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
The future
What gets bigger when more is taken away?
A hole
The person who makes it has no need of it; the person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?
A coffin
Mom and dad have four daughters, and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the family?
7– each daughter has the same brother.
I have no life but I can die.
A battery.
What month of the year has 28 days?
All of them
What has lots of eyes, but can’t see?
A potato
All 5 sisters are busy. Ann is reading a book, Rose is cooking, Katy is playing chess, and Mary is doing the laundry. What is the 5th sister doing?
She’s playing chess, of course!
An electric train is heading east at 400 mph. How fast will the smoke blow?
Electric trains do not produce smoke.
Rachel goes to the supermarket and buys 10 tomatoes. Unfortunately, on the way back home, all but 9 get ruined. How many tomatoes are left in good condition?
9
A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
He was bald.
What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A bed
Two in a corner, one in a room, zero in a house, but one in a shelter. What is it?
The letter “r”
What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat?
Chicago
There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A watermelon.