The Office
“The worst thing about prison was the dementors.”
Michael Scott/Prison Mike
"Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, no doubt. No doubt, no doubt."
Jake Peralta
“What’s the deal with lampshades? I mean if it’s a lamp, why do you want shade?”
Jerry Seinfeld
“I’m going to unleash crazy Amy. You guys can call me “Craymie”
Amy Dubanowski
"We were on a Break!"
Ross Geller
"You know what they say. Fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice...strike three."
Michael Scott
“What are you creeps doing? You made me look away from my phone. You better pray I didn’t miss a text.”
Gina Linetti
“Maybe the dingo ate your baby.”
Elaine Benes
"Some people like to hunt elk or deer. I hunt people. And your head is going on my wall."
Dina Fox
"How you doin’?"
Joey Tribbiani
“I am fast. To give you a reference point. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.”
Dwight Schrute
“Wait a minute, this isn’t the championship cummerbund. This is some common cummerbund. And you’re not Cheddar. You’re just some common....”
Captain Holt
“I gotta focus. I’m shifting into soup mode.”
George Constanza
"No, I was just trying to beat your story. Sorry, I'm competitive."
Mateo Liwanag
"I’m not great at the advise. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
Chandler Bing
"Rit-dit-dit-do-doo!"
Andy Bernard
"What kind of woman doesn’t have an ax?"
Rosa Diaz
"It's all pipes, Jerry!"
George Constanza
“Balloons are like our souls. They want to go up, but can’t, and when you pop them, they scream.”
Glenn Sturgis
“Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?”
Rachel Green
"Did I Stutter?!"
Stanley Hudson
"I'll get your perp to talk. I can be very persuasive. I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster."
Terry Crews
"You know I got a great idea for a cologne. The Beach. You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach."
Kramer/Kosmo
"Hey, I Played Basketball When I Was A Kid Until My Parents Let Me Stop."
Jonah Simms
"If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer."
Phoebe Buffay