Fix! The! Rules Text!
Spelunking{2}{G}
Enchantment
When Spelunking enters the battlefield, draw a card, then you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield.
Lands you control enter the battlefield untapped.
*If you put a Cave onto the battlefield this way, you gain 4 life.*
Stealing crowns got him banned in almost every format. Stealing these British artifacts got him banned from the London Tower.
Who is Oko, Thief of the Crown Jewels?
Flying
When this card dies, you may exile it and collect evidence 4. If you do, return this card to the battlefield tapped.
What is Lamplight Phoenix?
All it took was one extra sentence to make this Lay of the Land too strong for Standard.
What is Attune With Aether?
Player X controls a Clever Impersonator which is copying a Garruk, Relentless. If this copy of Garruk has its loyalty lowered to 2 or fewer, what happens?
Clever Impersonator has no backside, so Garruk will try infinitely to transform and the game will end in a draw.
"Mastery is achieved when 'telling time' becomes 'telling time what to do.'"
What is Telling Time?
Lord Skitter, Sewer King - {2}{B}
Legendary Creature - Rat Noble 3/3
At the beginning of combat on your turn, exile target card in a graveyard and create a 1/1 black Rat creature token with “This creature can’t block.”
*Whenever another Rat enters the battlefield under your control, exile up to one target card from an opponent’s graveyard.*
Daily Double!
Daily Double woohoo!
Flying, haste
{2}{R}: This card gets +2/+0 until end of turn.
Escape—{2}{R}{R}, Exile three other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its escape cost.)
This card escapes with a +1/+1 counter on it.
What is Phoenix of Ash?
This card was unbanned in Legacy on the same day that Preordain was unbanned in Modern.
What is Mind's Desire?
Player X controls 6 forests and casts Primeval Titan. With the ETB trigger they fetch a Mountain and Vesuva. Can Player X have Vesuva enter as a Mountain? Assume their opponent controls no Mountains.
No.
"He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged."
What is Raging Goblin?
Terror of the Peaks - {3}{R}{R}
Creature - Dragon 5/4
Flying
Ward - Pay 3 life
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, Terror of the Peaks deals damage equal to that creature's power to any target.
*Spells your opponents cast that target Terror of the Peaks cost an additional 3 life to cast.*
An extremely famous group of plastically altered women if they had a hint of Ragavan's nimbleness.
Who are the Kar-'Dash'-ians?
Flying, haste
This card attacks each combat if able.
Ferocious — At the beginning of combat on your turn, if you control a creature with power 4 or greater, you may pay {R}. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
What is Flamewake Phoenix?
This card was banned in Pioneer on the same day that Winota, Joiner of Forces was.
What is Expressive Iteration?
Player A puts Emrakul, the Aeons Torn into play via Through the Breach in their main phase. At the start of combat, Player B resolves Dress Down. Will Emrakul maintain the haste gained from TTB? Will it be sacrificed at the end step?
Emrakul will lose haste and will be exiled at end step.
"Hatred outlives the hateful"
What is Rancor?
Haywire Mite - {1}
Artifact Creature - Mite 1/1
When Haywire Mite leaves the battlefield, you gain 2 life.
{G}, Sacrifice Haywire Mite: Exile target noncreature artifact or noncreature enchantment. (2 errors)
*Artifact Creature - Insect*
*When Haywire Mite dies*
This sticky Golgari threat starred in the third of a trilogy of Christopher Nolan movies which was titled this.
What is The Mosswood Dreadknight Rises?
Flying, Haste
Whenever an opponent is dealt damage by a red instant or sorcery spell you control or by a red planeswalker you control, return this card from your graveyard to your hand.
What is Chandra's Phoenix?
Daily Double!
Daily Double woohoo!
Player A controls a Lamplight Phoenix owned by Player B. Player B resolves Murder targeting said Lamplight Phoenix. If Player A chooses to exile it and collect evidence 4 upon its death, which player's battlefield will it return to?
"No evidence, no crime"
What is Ledger Shredder?
Atraxa, Grand Unifier {3}{G}{W}{U}{B}
Legendary Creature — Phyrexian Angel
Flying, vigilance, lifelink
When Atraxa, Grand Unifier enters the battlefield, reveal the top seven cards of your library. For each card type, you may put a card of that type from among the revealed cards into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order. (3 errors)
*Deathtouch*
*Reveal the top 10 cards*
*Bottom of your library in a random order.*
First he invaded Magic and became a 1-drop level up creature, now he's invading Minecraft and causing swords to deal extra damage to spiders.
Who is Frodo, Sauron's Bane of Arthropods?
Flying, Haste
This card attacks each combat if able.
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, you may pay {4}{R}{R}. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
What is Akoum Firebird?
This is the only colour not represented on Pauper's banlist.
What is White?
There is a flipped Invasion of Amonkhet on the battlefield copying an Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal which is in the graveyard. A Go For the Throat resolves targeting this copy of Aclazotz. What happens?
Invasion of Amonkhet will return to the battlefield "transformed" meaning it will return on the backside and can once again copy Aclazotz.
"Amateur"
What is Force of Will?