Anger Basics
What does it mean when we say anger is a “secondary emotion”?
Anger is usually a reaction to another emotion like hurt, sadness, or fear.
Name two physical warning signs that anger might be building.
Sweating, clenched fists, racing heart, red face.
What is one way your family shows anger?
example: yelling, shutting down, silent treatment, slamming doors.
What does it mean to say "your thoughts can affect your feelings"?
example: If you think someone is being rude on purpose, you feel angry even if they didn’t mean it.
What does it mean to express anger in a healthy way?
It means letting out your anger in a way that doesn’t hurt you or others: talking, writing, or moving your body.
Name two primary emotions that often come before anger.
Hurt and fear (others could be sadness, embarrassment, shame).
What happens to your breathing and heartbeat when you're getting angry?
They usually speed up.
What is a strength your family has in dealing with anger?
example: we talk things out later; we say sorry.
Give an example of a thought that might make someone feel angrier.
example: “They’re doing this just to annoy me.”
Name two creative or physical outlets that can help express anger.
example: Drawing, writing in a journal, dancing, hitting a punching bag, going for a run.
True or False: Anger always appears suddenly without warning.
False – it builds slowly, even if we don’t notice it right away.
True or False: Shutting down or going quiet can be a sign of anger.
True – people express anger differently. Some go silent instead of yelling.
What’s one way you and a family member deal with anger differently?
example: I stay quiet, but my sibling yells and throws stuff.
What is a thinking trap that might lead to anger?
example: Jumping to conclusions, assuming the worst, or all-or-nothing thinking.
True or False: Bottling up your anger can be just as harmful as exploding.
True. It can build up and come out in worse ways later or make you feel worse mentally.
Describe a time when your anger caught you by surprise. What happened right before?
example: “I was yelling before I realized I was even mad. I had been feeling ignored all day.”
Why is it helpful to notice early warning signs of anger?
So you can calm down before you lose control or do something harmful.
Do you think you learned your anger habits from someone else? Explain.
example: Yes, I think I learned from my dad who also bottles things up.
How can changing your thoughts help with anger?
example: It helps you stay calm and see the situation differently.
Describe a time you expressed your anger in a healthy way. What did you do and how did it help?
example: “I wrote in my notes app instead of texting mean things. It helped me calm down.”
Why might it be important to understand what’s beneath your anger?
If you understand the real feeling (like hurt), you can deal with it better instead of just getting mad.
List four warning signs that apply to you personally. How do you know when anger is building?
example: “I get hot, my hands shake, I can’t focus, I clench my jaw.”
What’s one thing you would change about how your family handles anger? Why?
example: I’d want us to talk calmly instead of arguing or ignoring problems.
Share a time when a thought made you more angry than you needed to be. How could you have changed the thought?
example: I thought my friend was ignoring me, but they were just busy. I could’ve told myself to ask first before assuming.
What’s one new way you’d like to try expressing your anger, and what do you hope it would help you with?
open-ended