Validate This!
You are a parent of an 8 year old. The 8 year old wants to go to a party, but is scared. What would validation sound like?
Things to validate: Emotion of being scared, fear, and trying new things.
Example: "It sounds like you are saying you're feeling frustrated because you think your sister is out to get you, is that right?"
What is Level Two, Reflect Back?
What is a dialectic?
Two opposing things can be true at the same time.
You are a parent and your teen was just dumped by their partner of 5 months. Teen is tearful and is eating a tub of ice cream. How can you validate this?
Things to validate: Heartbreak, loss, grief
In this validation level, we turn towards the person and make eye contact. We give the speaker our full attention.
What is Validation Level One?
False, Validation lets us know that our unwanted emotions have a place and are okay
You have a friend that is about to make a public speech. They are shaking and pacing back and forth. How could you validate your friend?
Things to validate: being scared, fear, public speaking is hard for anyone
Name the three States of Mind
Wise Mind, Emotion Mind and Rational (logic) Mind
A teen wants to extend their curfew to 10pm because the teen's friend group has 10pm curfews. The teen has a concert on Friday that ends at 11pm. As a parent, you are not comfortable extending the curfew. How would you validate this?
Things to validate: asking for what we need, wanting more freedom.
Things to not validate: expecting a change just because everyone else has the 10pm rule.
In this level of validation, we read a person's behavior and guess what they might be feeling or thinking, noticing the emotional state
What is level three, reading a Person's Behavior
True or False, you can validate yourself?
True
Self Validation is just as important as validation for others
Example: "I've had a really hard day at work and I would just like some peace and quiet. I don't want to deal with you and your brother right now."
Things to validate: being tired, hitting a limit, wanting peace and quiet after having a hard day.
Things to not validate: avoiding, not radically accepting that others live in the house and will make noise.
Example: "Given what happened, it makese sense why you don't want to be around my dog,"
Who was the creator of DBT?
Dr. Marsha Linehan