Validate This!
You are a parent of an 8 year old. The 8 year old wants to go to a party, but is scared. What would validation sound like?
Things to validate: Emotion of being scared, fear, and trying new things.
Example: "It sounds like you are saying you're feeling frustrated because you think your sister is out to get you, is that right?"
What is Level Two, Reflect Back?
What is a dialectic?
Two opposing things can be true at the same time.
T/F: Only validate the valid
TRUE
Q: What month of the year has 28 days?
All of them!
You are a parent and your teen was just dumped by their partner of 5 months. Teen is tearful and is eating a tub of ice cream. How can you validate this?
Things to validate: Heartbreak, loss, grief
In this validation level, we turn towards the person and make eye contact. We give the speaker our full attention.
What is Validation Level One?
What module of DBT emphasizes being in the present moment without judgement?
Mindfulness
T/F: Validation is an innate skill, not something you practice
FALSE: practicing validation will make you better at it.
Q: A word I know, six letters it contains, remove one letter and 12 remains. What is it?
Dozens
You have a friend that is about to make a public speech. They are shaking and pacing back and forth. How could you validate your friend?
Things to validate: being scared, fear, public speaking is hard for anyone
True or False, you can validate yourself?
True
Self Validation is just as important as validation for others
T/F: It is okay to make things up when you are trying to validate someone.
False: you should stay genuine
If two’s a company, and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
nine
A teen wants to extend their curfew to 10pm because the teen's friend group has 10pm curfews. The teen has a concert on Friday that ends at 11pm. As a parent, you are not comfortable extending the curfew. How would you validate this?
Things to validate: asking for what we need, wanting more freedom.
Things to not validate: expecting a change just because everyone else has the 10pm rule.
In this level of validation, we read a person's behavior and guess what they might be feeling or thinking, noticing the emotional state
What is level three, reading a Person's Behavior
What are the 4 modules of DBT?
Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal effectiveness
T/F: checking to see if you are right means that you didn't validate correctly.
FALSE: Checking to see if you are right lets the other person know you care about what is going on.
You have a basket that's one foot in diameter and one foot deep. How many apples can you fit in the empty basket?
Only one, because then it isn't empty anymore
Example: "I've had a really hard day at work and I would just like some peace and quiet. I don't want to deal with you and your brother right now."
Things to validate: being tired, hitting a limit, wanting peace and quiet after having a hard day.
Things to not validate: avoiding, not radically accepting that others live in the house and will make noise.
Example: "Given what happened, it makese sense why you don't want to be around my dog,"
Who was the creator of DBT?
Dr. Marsha Linehan
T/F: when validating someone you should try and solve their problem first
FALSE: Validation before problem solving, and then only with permission
If there are seven oranges and you take three away, how many oranges do you have?
3, because that is how many you took