Dialectics
This is the word we use to replace "but" to show that two opposite things can be true at the same time
And
True or False: Validating someone means you agree with their opinion or behavior.
False
This mistake happens when you assume you know exactly what someone else is thinking.
Mind Reading
This is the term for a reward given immediately after a behavior that makes that behavior more likely to happen again.
Positive Reinforcement
This is the opposite of self-validation, where you tell yourself that your feelings are "stupid" or "wrong."
Self-Invalidation
Instead of seeing things as "all good" or "all bad," the middle path encourages us to stop this type of thinking
black-and-white (all-or-nothing) thinking
Is the below Validation, Reassurance, or Invalidation?
"Don't worry about the bad haircut, it'll grow back soon and it looks great anyway!"
Reassurance
This mistake happens when you take a small problem and imagine it will turn into a total disaster.
Catastrophizing (Fortunetelling)
This skill involves reinforcing small, successful steps toward a bigger goal rather than waiting for perfection.
Shaping
When practicing self-validation, you should try to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to ____.
A best friend
This is the dilemma where a pattern alternates between being extremely rigid with rules, and then becoming too soft or hands-off out of guilt or pure exhaustion.
Too permissive (loose) vs. too strict dialectical dilemma
Is the below Validation, Reassurance, or invalidation?
Parent says: "I'm exhausted from working all day and then coming home to a messy kitchen."
Teen says: "well maybe if you didn't stay so late at the office it wouldn't be a big deal. You're just making yourself stressed over nothing."
Invalidation
If you think, "I feel guilty, so I must have done something wrong"
Emotional Reasoning
True or False: nagging or yelling at someone to do their chores is an example of positive reinforcement.
False
One way to self-validate is the check the ___ to see if your emotional reaction matches the actual situation.
Check the Facts
This is the dilemma where a family "walks on eggshells" or ignores serious dangerous behaviors to keep the peace, which sends the message that the behavior isn't a big deal or won't have a consequence.
What are physical ways of communicating invalidation?
Rolling eyes, sucking teeth, heavy sighing, walking away during the conversation
This mistake involves using words like "always," "never," or "should" to describe yourself or others.
"Should" Statements
To be effective, positive reinforcement should occur when?
Immediately after the behavior
____ emotions occur first, often briefly, and might include sadness, fear, hurt, disappointment, or shame.
Primary
____ + ____ = Middle Path
Acceptance and Change
Is the below scenario validation, reassurance, or invalidation?
A teen is crying because they weren't invited to a party.
The parent sits down and says, "I can see you’re really hurting right now. It makes sense that you feel left out and lonely when you see your friends hanging out without you."
Validation
This mistake occurs when we ignore all the positive things that happened in a day and focus exclusively on the one thing that went wrong.
Mental Filtering
What does shaping involve?
And what could failing to shape lead to?
5A: reinforcing small steps of a larger goal to
5B: the other person giving up before finishing the full goal.
Which kind of emotions are usually more accurate in conveying one's internal experience and will more likely lead to validation?
Primary Emotions