Mindfulness of Others
True or False: When we practice the mindfulness of others skill, we can gradually gain control over the other person.
False! This skill is about remaining in control of myself when in conversation with others.
True or False: Sometimes checking the facts actually helps to reduce our emotional intensity/ alter our emotions enough, without necessarily needing to practice opposite action.
True! Sometimes being able to check the facts is enough to change our emotion, but not always.
What category is the Cope Ahead skill in?
It is an Emotion Regulation skill because Cope Ahead Plans work to manage how we express our emotions in an effective way.
What are some characteristics of being willing?
Being open to new perspectives, wanting to be effective in difficult moments, accepting that I cannot always get my way, etc.
What is your favorite pizza place to order from?
My boss when they offer a pizza party rather than addressing the root issues.
What is your action urge for anxiety? (Be specific)
When I'm anxious, I have the urge to cancel plans with friends/family and isolate.
True or False: Research shows that we can learn new skills by imagining and practicing the skills in our minds.
True! This is called imaginal rehearsal.
What are some characteristics of being willful?
Being closed-minded, remaining stagnant when action is needed, giving up quickly, making excuses, etc.
What is your favorite board game?
Monopoly!
True or False: It is important to be curious and be open to receiving new information about others.
True! Because people DO have the capacity to change, and sometimes they might surprise you.
What is your action urge for anger? (Be specific)
When I am angry, I have the urge to abuse substances or start fights with my spouse.
What is a new situation/ environment that maybe beneficial for you to create a cope ahead plan for?
Returning to work; seeing extended family during the holidays; going out for dinner with my friends who drink alcohol; coping with free time during the weekend
What is a skill you could practice to engage the mind-body connection to turn the mind towards willingness? (Bonus points if you can name both skills!)
Half-smile :)
Willing Hands
What is your favorite donut flavor?
Boston creme filled donut
Is there a relationship in your life that you struggle to be mindful/ present for? What is the barrier?
My dad when he gives me unsolicited advice.
How can you practice opposite action for anger? Context: The person you are talking to is trying to push your boundaries by continuing to ask you to buy them lunch which frustrates you, as they never return the favor.
Remain calm, take deep breaths, deliver your "No" in a kind, yet firm manner. If you have the urge to yell or lash out, remove yourself from that person.
What is an action urge/ safety behavior that maybe helpful for you to create a cope ahead plan for?
Engaging in substance use, engaging in SH/ SI, resisting avoidance/ rumination/ isolation, etc.
Share a personal example of a time you were willing.
I was willing to acknowledge I needed support with my mental health symptoms, so I agreed to participate in PHP and kept an open mind during group.
Free overnight shipping! What is your favorite thing to receive in the mail?!
Book mail lol
Is there a relationship that you excel in being mindful/ present for? What makes it easier to be mindful in this relationship?
My partner because there is mutual respect, kindness, and cooperation.
How could you practice opposite action for love? Context: You are going through a breakup, but still have feelings for the other person and want to keep tabs on them on social media.
Block them on social media, delete their phone number, pour that love/ attention back into yourself!
What is a relaxing skill or activity you could engage in after rehearsing your cope ahead?
Take a warm shower, practice progressive muscle relaxation, color a picture, listen to calming music, etc.
Share a personal example of a time you were willful.
My treatment team gently encouraged me to remain sober during my time in the treatment program, but they were overreacting because I don't have a problem with alcohol anyways so I will drink whenever I want to. (Pre-contemplative stage of change)
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get! Share an example of a time you anticipated having a negative experience, but were then pleasantly surprised?