COMMUNICATION STYLES
What are the four main styles of communication?
Passive, Aggressive, Assertive, and Passive-aggressive
What is the process of an automatic thought?
Event, meaning we give the event, emotion
What are some warning signs of anger?
Mind goes blank, shaking, sweating, crying, throwing things, face turns red, feel hot, clench fists, yell, punch things, pacing, go quiet, swearing, headaches, heavy breathing, ruminate, scowl, insult the other person
What is a boundary?
Emotional and physical space between you and another, established set of limits, balanced emotional and physical limits, free to be yourself, appropriate amount of closeness
What does validation mean?
Validation means recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile
What is reflective listening?
When you repeat back what someone has just said to you but in your own words.
Automatic thoughts can be?
Words, an image, a memory, a physical sensation, an imagined sound, or based on intuition
When is anger a problem?
When it negatively affects other, hinder performance at work or school, affects health or well-being, and when it is too intense
What are the three types of boundary lines?
Rigid, porous, and healthy
According to DBT, what does VALIDATION stand for?
Value others, ask questions, listen and reflect, identify with others, discuss emotions, attend to nonverbals, turn the mind, and encourage participation
How is an “I” statement structured?
I feel (emotion) when (explanation)
What are the steps to challenge an automatic thought?
Reflect on the situation, challenge the automatic negative thoughts, and create a balanced thought
What are triggers? How do you use them to your advantage?
Triggers are things that set you off. Create a list and review them daily increasing the likelihood you notice them before they become an issue, you can create a plan for if/when you are triggered, and you can avoid them/make lifestyle changes
What are the six types of boundaries?
Physical, intellectual, emotional, sexual, material, and time
Validation is not?
Personalizing others’ experience, getting too absorbed, fixing or offering solutions, cheerleading and encouraging, and agreeing and giving in
What type of communication style will say: “I realize I have choices in life and I consider my options.”
Assertive
What are core beliefs?
They are the very essence of how we see ourselves, other people, the world, and the future.
The coping skill of taking a time out entails what?
Temporarily leave the situation that is making you angry. If other people are involved, explain to them that you need a few minutes along to calm down.
What does it mean to have over enmeshed boundaries?
It means that everyone has to follow the rule that everyone must do everything together and that everyone is to think, feel, and act in the same way. No one is allowed to deviate from the family or group norms.
What are the steps to validate self?
Use mindfulness, use radical acceptance, and change how you respond to self
Using an “I” statement, how would you respond? “You can’t keep coming home so late! It’s so inconsiderate.”
“I feel worried when you come home late. I can’t even sleep.”
What are the steps to adjusting negative core beliefs?
Choose a negative core belief to work on, develop a new core belief, examine the evidence for and against your old belief, find support for your new belief, and evaluate your new and old beliefs
What will be the outcome of your next anger-fueled action? Will arguing convince the other person you’re right? Will you be happier after the fight? What coping skills asks these questions?
Thinking of the consequences
What are the five situational examples for setting healthy boundaries?
Anger, buy time, criticism, extra commitments, and money
How do you handle invalidation from others?
Remember judgments are judgments and not to get swept away by them, when others do not understand it does not mean our feelings are invalid, act in wise mind, validate how painful it is to be invalidated by a loved/support person