Have you been listening?
What is the common denominator of emotional relapse?
poor self-care
Gaslighting is...
a type of manipulation that causes a person to doubt their own beliefs, sanity, or memory.
Please name 3 examples of Emotional Relapse
1) bottling up emotions
2) isolating
3) not going to meetings
4) going to meetings but not sharing
5) focusing on others (focusing on other people’s problems or focusing on how other people affect them)
6) poor eating and sleeping habits.
The 4 horsemen are behaviors that...
escalate conflict and damage a relationship. Over time, these harmful behaviors may become a normal part of communication between partners.
Anxiety is...
your body’s reaction to anything you find scary or threatening.
Denial is part of which stage of relapse?
Emotional
Please give an example of sabotage
Throwing away the victim’s mail so they can’t pay a bill on time.
Damaging the victim’s car so they cannot leave the house.
Please name 3 examples of Mental Relapse
1) craving for drugs or alcohol
2)thinking about people, places, and things associated with past use
3) minimizing consequences of past use or glamorizing past use
4) bargaining
5) lying
6) thinking of schemes to better control using
7) looking for relapse opportunities
8) planning a relapse.
Physical Return
How do you correct defensiveness? Also, give an example using a sentence.
Own up to your behavior without blaming others.
• Avoid taking feedback personally. • Use feedback as an opportunity to improve. • Show remorse and apologize.
“I shouldn't have raised my voice. I’m sorry."
What are 2 examples of avoidance?
• Skipping class to avoid giving a presentation
• Using drugs or alcohol to numb feelings
• Procrastinating on challenging tasks
When is the emotional mind used?
The emotional mind is used when feelings control a person’s thoughts and behavior. They might act impulsively with little regard for consequences.
Please give an example of put-downs
“You’re an idiot. You have no clue what you’re saying.”
“You sound really crazy when you talk like that.”
Please explain Mental relapse
In mental relapse, there is a war going on inside the mind; part wants to use, but part of doesn’t. As individuals go deeper into mental relapse, their cognitive resistance to relapse diminishes and their need for escape increases.
What are the 4 antidotes?
Gentle start up, Take responsibility, Share fondness/admiration, Use self-soothing
What were the 4 ways to manage anxiety?
Therapy, Medication, Relaxation skills, Lifestyle changes
Name 4 of the relationship Green flags you discussed in group
Appreciation
Balance
Commitment
Commonality
Conflict Resolution
Effective Communication
Empathy
Honesty
Independence
Intimacy
Safety
Self-Confidence
What is projection? Please give one example of something a gaslighter may say.
The gaslighter accuses the victim of the very behavior in which they are engaging.
“Maybe you’re the one who’s hiding something.”
“Well, I think you’re lying to me.”
Please explain Emotional relapse
Not thinking about using, not wanting to use, but your emotions and behaviors are setting them up for relapse down the road.
What does stonewalling look like?
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or going silent during important discussions.
• Often a response to feeling overwhelmed. • Used to avoid difficult discussions or problems. • Underlying problems go unresolved
Name 3 symptoms of anxiety
- uncontrollable worry
- poor concentration
- excessive nervousness
- increased heart rate
- sleep problems
- decreased enjoyment
- muscle tension
- upset stomach
What are the 4 parts of the cycle of anxiety?
Anxiety, avoidance, relief, intensification
What are the different types of gaslighting?
Denial
Distraction
Ignoring/Avoiding
Minimalization/Trivialization
Projection
Put Downs
Sabotage
Threats
What are the 3 stages of relapse?
Emotional, Mental and Physical
What are the 4 different horsemen?
Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
What are the 3 types of anxiety
Generalized, Phobias, Panic