Have you been listening?
What does BPS stand for in the BPS model of addiction we discussed?
Biological
Psychological
Social
What are the 6 types of boundaries?
emotional, physical, sexual, material, time, and verbal
What is something to avoid if your partners love language is physical touch?
Physical Abuse or Neglect
The 4 horsemen are behaviors that...
escalate conflict and damage a relationship. Over time, these harmful behaviors may become a normal part of communication between partners.
How do you combat contempt? And what is 1 example?
Show fondness and admiration
• Show affection.
• Recognize your partner’s strengths.
• Give compliments.
What are 4 features of porous boundaries?
Overshares personal info, difficulty saying no to requests of others, overinvolved with others' problems, dependent on opinions of others, accepting of abuse or disrespect, fears rejection if they do not comply with others.
What actions are appreciated by someone whose love language is words of affirmation?
stating feelings, giving encouragement, giving compliments, sharing positive thoughts, texts/notes
How do you correct defensiveness? Also, give an example using a sentence.
Own up to your behavior without blaming others.
• Avoid taking feedback personally. • Use feedback as an opportunity to improve. • Show remorse and apologize.
“I shouldn't have raised my voice. I’m sorry."
What are 1 thing to avoid if your partners love language is acts of service?
lacking on follow through on small and large tasks
What are 4 features of healthy boundaries?
values own opinions, doesn't compromise values for others, shares personal info in an appropriate way, knows personal wants and needs and communicates effectively, accepting when others say no to them
What are some actions to take if your partners love language is acts of service?
Make them a meal, help with chores, provide for family, care for children
What are the 4 antidotes?
Gentle start up, Take responsibility, Share fondness/admiration, Use self-soothing
Healthy sexual boundaries include...
Mutual understanding and respect of limitations and desires between sexual partners.
What are the 3 personal limits of boundaries?
Porous, rigid, healthy
What are things to avoid if your partners love language is quality time?
prolonged periods not spent together, distractions when spending time together
What does stonewalling look like?
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or going silent during important discussions.
• Often a response to feeling overwhelmed. • Used to avoid difficult discussions or problems. • Underlying problems go unresolved
What are the 9 rules of fair fighting?
Before you begin, ask yourself why you feel upset.
Discuss one topic at a time.
No degrading language.
Express your feelings with words
Take turns speaking.
No stonewalling
No yelling.
Take a time-out if things get too heated.
Attempt to come to a compromise or an understanding.
What does having healthy emotional boundaries look like? Please give an example.
limitations on when to and when not to share personal info.
gradually sharing personal information during the development of a relationship, as opposed to revealing everything to everyone.
Name all of the love languages
Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, gifts, acts of service
What are the 4 different horsemen?
Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling