Take two Magister MiliTums and call me in the morning
This surprisingly well behaved Vandal managed to keep the Goths from depressing the Roman Empire too much with their dark clothes, sad music, and sacking of cities until his Emperor acted not quite as honorably as his name suggests.
Who is Stilicho?
This Constantian Emperor decided he liked Constantinople better that way and was an all around Nicea guy.
Who is Constantine I
Pepin the Short
This saint thought he was rolling in the clover after he escaped from captivity in Ireland only to return later as a missionary and bishop.
Who is St. Patrick?
A heresy according to contemporary Christians and Jews, the Islamic religion rests its code of behavior on this group of precepts that includes almsgiving, fasting, and visiting Mecca.
What are the Five Pillars of Islam?
This Eastern Roman general ostracized the Ostrogoths from Italy, pulled the rug out from under the Persians, and cleaned up North Africa after the Vandals
Who is Belisarius?
This member of the Constantian dynasty became emperor right after Diocletian gave the empire a split personality; he primarily quartered in Gaul and Britain.
Constantius I
Who is Charles Martel?
Through the rude wind's wild lament and the bitter weather this martyred ruler and patron saint of a central European country always kept the proper measure of things.
Who is Wenceslaus?
Ho-ho-homoousious! Constantine called for the first of these in 325 at Nicaea, at which according to legend Santa Claus smacked Arius in the face for denying the eternal coexistence of the father and the son.
What is an Ecumenical Council?
Until a more important threat came around in the form of the Huns and he won the Battle of the Catalunian Fields, this Roman general's loyalty didn't earn him any valentines from the imperial family.
Who is Flavius Aetius?
I'm sure that his brothers Constantine II and Constans were never confused for this emperor who reunified the Empire before he discovered that his decision to spare only one of his nephews and then make them co-emperor wasn't well thought out.
Constantius II
This Carolingian liked to be known as "David" by his friends and liked to be read to while he was taking his bath.
Who is Charlemagne?
This Doctor of the Church diagnosed himself in the Confessions and the whole Roman Empire in The City of God
Who is St. Augustine?
What is Monophysitism?
Constantius III
This juvenile last member of the Constantian dynasty probably wished the summer of his reign lasted a bit longer before coming to an end on campaign in Persia.
who is Julian the Apostate?
After a moment of blinding fury, this Carolingian ruler settled down to live a peaceful life absolutely untroubled by any family troubles whatsoever with his four (later three) sons.
Who is Louis the Pious?
Otto the great was happy to find that this princess and eventual Empress regent hadn't been taken to another castle after he had taken the trouble of invading Italy for her.
Who is St. Adelaide?
The Easter Bunny had a lot riding on this British religious meeting that took place in 664 and tried to settle differences of practice between the celtic and anglo-saxon churches.
What is the Synod of Whitby?
This roman general's good deeds in defending the Empress Galla Placidia and Emperor Valentinian's claim to the Imperial throne don't go unpunished.
Who is Bonifacius?
This enemy of Constantine I probably wished he hadn't burned all of his bridges before his unsuccessful defense of Rome in 312 A.D.
This originally landless but perfectly coiffed son of Louis the Pious was king of West Francia from 843-877
This exuberant son of Henry the Quarrelsome was the last member of the Ottonian dynasty.
Who is Henry II?
The Council of Chalcedon gave this title to Mary as a token of their respect and an answer to the questions raised by Nestorius about the divinity of Christ.
Theotokos